Catch and Release

(I wrote this for WeGrowMinistries, Parents Encouraging Parents Blog on Family Enrichment on October 10, 2010. 


“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.”

I thought I understood this verse……and then I took up fly fishing. There is more depth in Jesus’ words than I ever imagined.

1. A fisherman knows what kind of fish he’s trying to catch. He knows, according to the season, what interests the fish.
2. He understands his equipment. He knows where to cast the line and when to cast the line.
3. He appreciates that there are times to wait, times to pull the line in, and times to re-cast. He must be patient. When one lure doesn’t work, he’ll choose another.

We are all called to be fishers of men, but as parents our kids are our first priority. To understand the privilege of introducing Jesus to our kids, let’s apply these fly fishing principles to our parenting.

First, know your kids. Each child is unique with his own set of God-given interests and abilities that can change over time and with maturity.

Second, understand your limitations and God’s provision. No parent is perfect and no parent has all of the answers. Ask the Lord to give you wisdom and discernment. Seek Him for direction in how and when to reach the heart of your child.

Third, appreciate the process, be patient, and wait upon the Lord. I’m only just beginning to understand this aspect as my oldest son reaches his teen years. There are certainly times to speak into your child’s life. But as they grow and mature, you want them to recognize God’s voice above your own.

Share Jesus with your kids, everyday. Whether it be through His Word, through a story about what God has done in your life, through prayer, by your example or with your love…there are all kinds of ways to share Jesus with your kids. They will catch the vision of what it is to walk with Jesus as they watch you.

In many ways, Godly parenting is like the “catch and release” method of fishing. We are to “catch” our kids and reach their hearts for Jesus. Then, we must “release” them back into the world and continue modeling for them what it is to recognize Jesus-- each time they see Him. This is a daily process. The sooner we appreciate this fact, the more patient we will be with the process….and with ourselves….and with our kids.

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“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deuteronomy 6:4-7

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.” Psalm 34:8

The Dragonfly

(The following is something I wrote back in July for the Parents Encouraging Parents section of We Grow Ministries.  I thought I'd share it with you.  Since writing this, God has really been working in my life to help me respond better to my kids.  Praise the Lord!)

While sitting in the backyard, my ten year old came rushing up to me with a poor helpless dragonfly dangling from a stick. Its wings were drenched.

“Can you save him, Mommy?” asked my hopeful child.

Who knows what caused the demise of this dragonfly? Maybe it took a wrong turn. Maybe it zigged when it should have zagged. Regardless, the dragonfly had made a bad decision and was now paying the consequences.

I could relate. I was burdened down from poor choices I had been making as a parent. After some consistent wrong turns, I felt like a failure. Though God had blessed me with the job of parenting four boys, lately it felt more like a burden. Who was going to come and rescue me?

While the dragonfly rested in my care, I considered my current situation:

Why have I been so impatient with the boys? Over and over and over again, I find myself reacting to situations rather than responding. God calls me to respond with a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4). Yet often, my words have been harsh and my responses have been soaked in tones of irritation. Instead of ‘soaring on wings as eagles’ (Isaiah 40:31), or even flittering as a dragonfly, I’m drowning in regrets. It’s obvious by their constant nagging and berating of each other that I’ve set a poor example for them to follow.

Thirty minutes later, the dragonfly still clung to the stick upon my lap. I had never seen a dragonfly so close for such a long stretch of time. What beauty was in the creature’s shimmering wings and body! At every angle against the sunlight, the unmoving dragonfly glistened in colors of green, blue, and black.

Then an incredible thing happened. In slow motion, the wings opened and closed. Then the dragonfly walked off of the stick and onto my pant leg. Soon, it was flittering along the creek bank again.

There are times when I become burdened down as a parent. I can feel helpless, or even hopeless. Just as my son came to me to save the dragonfly, I come to God in desperation and I ask, “Can you save me from the mess I’ve made? Is there any hope?” Often my frustrations are the greatest when I recognize that my children’s shortcomings—those attitudes, behaviors, or sentiments that push my “I can’t take it anymore” buttons—are a mere reflection of my own shortcomings.

God is waiting for me to take some time and to come and to sit in His presence. As I unload my burdens and confess my sins, He is faithful and just to forgive me (1 John 1:9). It’s really, really hard for me to set apart time to pray and to read God’s Word. But when I do, I always find hope. I always find strength. I always find rest. I can just see God looking at me from every angle while I rest in His presence. I wonder, “Is the beauty that He created in me more evident in those times?” I’m sure it is, especially in my actions and in my responses. And I’m sure it is more evident to my children and to my husband.

When I come before the Lord with true transparency, He gives me the forgiveness and the grace I need to get up and to try again. Before long, I have the strength and the desire to ‘flitter’ down the path of Godly parenthood once again.

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Instead, it [your beauty] should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:9

Parents Encouraging Parents

It was through this blog that I discovered my love of writing. The jumbled thoughts inside my head line up and make more sense when I put them down. Though I don't blog as much as I used to, it's still therapeutic for me.

This summer a friend from church asked if I would consider writing some articles for the "Parents Encouraging Parents" section of her website, WeGrowMinistries.com. http://wegrowministries.com/

I decided to give it a try. Why not? So, let me know what you think. And if you have a moment, check out my friend's website.

Here is my first one:


When Rhonda Haslett, creator of WeGrowMinistries.com, asked if I would consider writing some articles in the "Parents Encouraging Parents" section of her ministry website, I was initially very honored and excited. Then, on my way home from church, panic set in.

"Who am I to encourage other parents? What could I say that would be helpful, or inspirational or encouraging, for that matter? I'm probably not a good example to follow, anyway? What's the use?"

Before the car turned into our neighborhood, I had dashed any hopes of producing one shred of encouragement...ever. The other five passengers in the car, which included my husband and four sons, were oblivious to the battle that had engulfed my mind during that twenty minute ride home from church. I consciously noted each bad choice I made throughout the rest of the day...which added to the reasons why I COULD NOT write encouraging articles to other parents. In fact, by the end of the day, it was official. I was the worst parent that had ever walked on this earth.

As a parent, can you relate to the battle that can take place within your soul? Do you desire to be Christ-like and to demonstrate the love of God to your children, yet feel like maybe God made a mistake when He choose you for this awesome role of parenting?

Did I handle that discipline issue the right way?

Have I failed in training my child to be a good steward...to be responsible...to show respect....to be kind...to know and to love God?

Why do I always have to tell him the same thing over and over and over and over and over again?

I promised myself I wouldn't react with anger today, and yet I just yelled at my child before I even got out of bed!

Can I just buy a T-shirt for the boy that reads, "Really, my parents are trying, but I have a free will AND I'm willing to use it!"

Argh! Parenthood has its challenges.

Honestly, I've wondered often in the last month if Rhonda picked the wrong mom. The idea of encouraging other parents may be difficult, especially when there are many days in a week when I'm the one who needs the encouragement. I mess up everyday as a parent. Every single day.

I suppose that is the beauty of "Parents Encouraging Parents." We are regular, ordinary parents just like you. We have not perfected parenthood, but we are willing to be transparent in both our failures and our successes. We are willing to learn and to grow and to apply God's Word to our lives. As we share what God is teaching us, we pray that you are encouraged along the way.

May each of us grow to become parents after God's own heart!

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But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work {including parenthood}. 2 Timothy 3:16