Grieving the Me that I Once Was

During treatment, my focus was two-fold: get through it and make sure that my kids' lives were as normal as possible.

Then, treatment ended. One would think that the end of treatment would be like a breath of fresh air. So, why don't I have that minty fresh breath feeling? (a little humor never hurts!) What is this sorrowful feeling that consumes me? I think I am grieving.

I'm grieving the time lost in the past year.
I'm grieving those parts of me that I have lost....forever.
I'm grieving the loss of who I once was.

Grieving has it's place. I never allowed myself that process in the midst of my treatment. So, I must walk through it now, in order to be whole again. So rather than rushing to get through it and being only partially whole, I think I will linger a bit longer.

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There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to serch and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

A song I remember from my childhood (taken partially from Acts 17:28):
In Him we live and move and have our being.
Make a joyful noise. Sing unto the Lord. Tell Him of your love. Dance before Him.
Hallelujah!