Today, my older boys and I finished reading a biography of C.S. Lewis, known as Jack to those who loved him. I was surprised at how his story captivated their attention. As a young boy Jack loved to create pictures of animal-lands...first with his art and then with his writings. He and his older brother, Warnie, were close. It was in his youth that he knew that 'God was as real as the sunshine.' But as the circumstances of his life and the times around him changed, so did his belief. He faced the death of his mother, the separation of family.....and then later the terror, hardship and injuries from front line battles of World War I. Somewhere in the midst of those and other struggles, Jack lost his connection with God. He became an atheist. Yet, we found that God never stopped pursuing Jack. Through his studies and through his friendships he was drawn back to the faith of his youth. Eventually, he became one of the 'greatest Christian thinkers of the twentieth century.' (Hey, how's that for a book report? :))
What I find most interesting is how we came to read this book. We had already read the book scheduled for December, so we needed to find another book about someone from Europe. My friend had a stack of books from which to choose. Spencer picked one out. Having read the Chronicles of Narnia, he was drawn to C.S. Lewis. So we brought it home (in early November, before I was fully aware of my breast cancer diagnosis) and set it aside for later.
As a mother, I am acutely aware that my young boys do not comprehend the big picture....or even most of the little picture..... of breast cancer. I also know, that providing them too much information could be overwhelming. Part of the 'art' of parenting is being aware of 'teachable moments' that pop up in a day. I've been praying that God would bring these moments to me and the boys so that the flow of conversation about breast cancer would be more natural and more from the heart. Well, picking the biography of C.S. Lewis was not an accident. In the pages of his story, we discovered that many of Jack's loved ones had had cancer: his mother, his father, his favorite aunt, and his wife. Yesterday, my older three boys and I had the most wonderful conversation about life, about God's sovereignty, about faith......and about cancer. Yes, conversations about cancer will come up.....but not a conversation like the one we had, which was inspired by the story of C.S. Lewis. It was a God-orchestrated moment. I will treasure it always.
Of course, I have to mention the boys' most favorite part of Jack's life. In their youth, Jack and Warnie Lewis had created some interesting nicknames for each other.........Small-Piggy-Bottom for Jack and Archy-Piggy-Bottom for Warnie. Isn't that funny? The boys giggled every time they'd hear that exchange between the brothers. Now my boys are determined to find a good nickname for each other. I think I've found just the right one........................
Yesterday, my three sisters and I went wig shopping and had so much fun! I'm so thankful for sisters who can laugh in the midst of our struggles. It was very therapeutic for me. Still, as I attempted to try on my first wig, we discovered that I have a very large head. In fact we all do. We joked about opening up our own wig store and calling it The Big Ol' Noggin. Time will tell if it will even be necessary for me to purchase a wig as I've been told that I may not lose my hair. But at least I'm prepared if it should happen. I can thank my dad for my nice big noggin' ......and my oldest son can thank him, too. So, we've come up with a few nicknames that involve 'big-noggin's' and 'piggy-bottoms.' We're still working out the details............
P.S. Many have asked how I did after my first chemo treatment. I did experience some fatigue which was greatest from Sunday afternoon through Monday, as well as some off and on back pain through Tuesday. On Wednesday and Thursday I felt like my ol' self. I've been so blessed by the generosity of others. Psalms 139 tells us how special we are to God. And this is something that I know, and have felt. But when I see the tangible evidence of God's love poured out before me through the feet and hands of his children....it is quite overwhelming....in a very good way.
P.S.S. My six year old, Parker, had an ah-hah moment as we were in our third week of reading about C.S. Lewis. "So, let me see if I understand.....we're reading about the same person each time.....he's just getting older and bigger along the way. So, it's all about him." 'Yes,' I said. 'It makes you think, doesn't it, Parker? When you get older and someone decides to write your life story........what do you hope will be written in the pages of your book?'
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