Surprise Trip, Unique Boys

Today I woke up with the desire to do something fun with the boys. Only a few more days before my surgery and I didn't want to spend our day inside. Sean was definitely on board with this idea, so we surprised the boys with a trip to Turkey Run State Park where we went hiking and canoeing. After complete exhaustion, we stopped at our favorite pizza and ice cream shop (which is right across from the Turkey Run Campground). We had a fantastic time. We saw so many turtles, baby geese that looked to be no more than a day old getting into Sugar Creek for what may have been their first swim, a muskrat, a beautiful swarm of yellow butterflies, a snake, and many birds. I am wiped out tonight. It feels good to have achy muscles in my ankles and legs and arms which I haven't felt for some time.

What I wanted to share was just how unique my boys are. Sean and I were laughing about it as we set out today. We told the boys what we were doing and told them to pack some extra clothes in their back packs, to go 'potty,' and to get into the truck. This is how it unfolded:

Spencer, the Firstborn, The Man with a Plan: He did everything in order and added some extras to make the trip fun for him. He got his backpack and his clothes. He went to the bathroom, picked up some field guides on birds, spiders, and insects, and got into the truck.

Trevor, the Secondborn, Mr. Simple Bare-Necessities: He heard clothes and bag and truck. He grabbed his clothes and put them in a grocery paper bag and started to get into the truck. Then daddy said, 'Not that kind of bag. Get your backpack.' So Trevor put the paper bag away and grabbed a plastic bag. 'No, Trevor, your back pack!' So, after some minor grumbling, he put his clothes into Spencer's backpack. Spencer, The Man with a Plan, reminded him to go potty before getting into the truck.

Parker, the Thirdborn, The Dreamer: Found his backpack full of drawings and crayons. Sat on the floor pulling out each individual drawing.....one..by..one..by..one........"Oh, isn't this one nice, mommy." So, mommy pulled everything out of the bag and sent him upstairs to get his second set of clothes. Finding him on the floor of his room, lost in his own thoughts as he was slowly pulling clothes out of his drawers and setting them down. "Actually, mommy, I need two pair of socks, not one. See, I don't have any socks on my feet yet." "Yes, I see that, Parker," I say. Meanwhile......

Brenner, the Lastborn, Mr. Independent: He'd already found his hiking boots in the garage. He'd already filled his backpack to the brim. "What do you have in there, Brenner?" "I have extra shirts, extra pants, extra socks, and my toothbrush," he says. "But we're not spending the night their, buddy. You don't need your toothbrush. We're just going for the day." Our adventure boy was not happy that this trip would end with him back in his own bed tonight!

Just before taking off, I did a quick check to make sure everyone got what they needed and had visited the potty. When I asked Brenner if he'd gotten an extra pair of shorts, he started to cry, "No, mommy. You said 'pants.' I didn't get any shorts. I got pants." Oh my! Obviously, pants were fine by me, but I nearly sent my detail-oriented boy into a panic!!!

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I wanted to send a special thank you to my homeschool co-op. I was unable to attend our group's Year End Program last night, mainly because I had to stay home with Parker who'd had the stomach flu (we think) the day before and had slept most of Friday. Anyway, Sean and the other boys attended and they came home with the most beautiful white roses for me from the group. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Count it ALL Joy

My spirit was stirred a couple of weeks ago when I went with a friend to her chemo treatment. As we drove there she said, "Oh, did I mention that I like to walk around the building one time and sing 'The Joy of the Lord is my Strength,' before I go in for treatment?

No....but I was happy to do that with her. So we sang, we jumped for joy, and we laughed as we circled the building.

Later in the week, I went to the 2-day homeschool convention without my wig. I'd intended to wear a bandanna, but ended up going without any covering on my head. I think wigs are great! I've thoroughly enjoyed mine, but I felt the prompting of the Lord to trust in Him and to accept his 'covering' for those two days. It would have been much simpler to be 'covered' with my wig and to find safety in my synthetic hair.


So, I went. Bald head and all. There were several occasions when I forgot about my hairless state, until I noticed someones wandering eye drifting toward my crown. Lord, why did you ask me to do this? I'm feeling really exposed......but I will trust you. And He gave me such strength and courage that I did not know I had.

On Saturday, I was picking up my Currito Burrito at the Food Court when a woman from the convention came over, touched my arm, and spoke these words to me: "I just have to tell you that you have encouraged me so much as I've seen you throughout the day. The joy of the Lord is all over your face." All I could do was smile, thank her for the encouragement, and hold back the flood of tears that wanted to flow from my eyes. My tears were not of sadness, but of JOY. Because it was then that I knew, in part, why God had asked such a difficult thing of me.

Just in case there was any doubt, God gave me reassurance on Monday. I received a postcard from a dear prayer warrior at church. She had no idea what I had done the week before. She didn't know about my leaping and singing and laughing around the chemo building, or my experience at the convention. But on Saturday morning she was praying for me and my family. As she was praying for peace, God prompted her to pray and to sing 'joy' over me. The song "It is joy, unspeakable and full of glory" came to her mind. She wrote, "and in my mind's eye...wherever and whatever that is...I see you laughing hilariously. Then when I was looking for a card--I found this one! Do you think it was God? Must be 'cause it doesn't make sense." I turned the post card over. It read, "I will be glad in the Lord. Psalm 104:34."

Wow!!! Isn't God good!!

Well, as my week here at home got a little tougher, God wanted to remind me once more that His joy can live in me despite what's going on around me. This morning I received the following from another friend. She started by saying, "Not sure why I'm sharing this with you.....other than I feel like I was supposed to." Then she typed out the verses from Psalm 51:7-17. Some of the highlights in these verses include, "Let me hear joy and gladness.......restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me........O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise........" There are many other treasures in those verses, but I was drawn to the ones which mentioned 'joy' and 'praise.'

I pray that God's joy would abound in you as well. In the midst of the trial you are going through, in the midst of the uncertainties and frustrations that you face everyday, I pray that God will restore to you the joy of your salvation and will grant you a willing spirit to sustain you. Open your lips and let your mouth declare praises unto His name!!!!!

More from the Convention

If you couldn't tell from my last two entries, I was not disappointed at the Homeschool Convention last weekend. Being a teacher at heart, I have this deep desire to share good insights with others. Not only do I think it can encourage those who hear it, but it also further cements ideas in my heart. So, I wanted to share just a few more things that spoke to me. The reason I've included the websites is to twofold: first, you may really like what was said and may want to find out more about that person or his ministry; second, you may question what is being said and may want to find out more information. I suppose the third option is: you don't care what was said. If that is you, then it's easy to skip right over the websites!!!!

So here are some of my highlights:

"In order to prepare for a personal revival we must live each day nourishing a humble heart. The fallow life is contented with himself and the fruit he once bore. He does not want to be disturbed. The plowed life is discontent, yearning and contrite. It lives in courageous obedience to the will of God......If you have quarreled with anyone, go as far as you can to achieve reconciliation." Points from Norm Wakefield's talk on 'Building a Godly Legacy for Generations.' http://www.spiritofelijah.com/

"A boy doesn't do what his mother tells him to do....He does what his father is doing. If you want your child to read (to be respectful, to be a hard worker, etc.) then you need to model that. Otherwise you'll hear, 'Well, daddy, if (reading, hard work, etc) is so important then why don't you do it." Points from Jan Bloom's talk on 'Books for Boys!' http://www.booksbloom.com/

"A man who knows how to serve knows how to lead. The four building blocks to raising Godly sons are purity, integrity, responsibility, and servant leadership. Responsibility must first be demonstrated in the home, then in the church, and then in the community." Points from Shelley Noonan's talk on 'Build-A-Man.' http://www.pumpkinseedpress.net/

"No civilization has ever survived the breakdown of the family......Today's entertainment is an overwhelming and culture-shaping force in our world. But is it entertainment? No. It changes how we know and think. The rapid pace of images and ideas bombards us and discourages us from true reflection and evaluation of what we are taking in. Images and ideas are given and juxtaposed out of context, making life fragmented. Life becomes trivialized. For instance, after days and days of reporting on the devastating tsunami, people became disinterested. Nobody paid attention to the TVs scattered about the airport. The death toll was now over 200,000. But all of a sudden, 'Breaking News' came on a Major News Channel. Every head in the airport turned, every eye became fixated on the monitors as we discovered that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were breaking up. Oh My! (Yes, it is sad for Jennifer and Brad....but 'Breaking News' on a MAJOR NEWS CHANNEL......I don't think so). Often when we turn on our TV, listen to our music, or go to see a movie, we 'veg' out. Our brains turn off. We escape. It is never legitimate to escape the world." Points from John Stonestreet's talk on Thinking Biblically in an Entertainment Culture. http://www.summit.org/

Well, that's about it. It looks like I'll be busy for the rest of the day. I've got a yearning to till some fallow soil in my soul and a desire to read some really good books to my boys. When I get done with that, I'll find the strength to serve my children so that I can model for them what it is to be a servant leader. Once everyone is tucked in bed, I'll turn on the TV and try NOT to 'veg' out!!!!!! :)

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Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true. Acts 17:11

The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. Psalm 19:7

Jesus called them together and said, "You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Mark 10: 43-45

Anchored in Christ....Drowning in Laundry

You may be surprised to know that many of the workshops and sessions at the Homeschool Convention have little to do with homeschooling. Many of the principles can be used in homeschooling, but they can also be used in everything we do. I often leave the weekend challenged and inspired not only in my role as homeschooling mom, but also in my role as mother, wife, homemaker, daughter, friend, and child of God.

One of the speakers was Norm Wakefield of Elijah Ministries, which is a ministry devoted to providing messages and resources to turn the hearts of men to God, their wives and their children. His message, "Anchored in Christ," stirred my heart because it was so close to home for me. Since being diagnosed with cancer in November of 2007, I have lived the truth of his message. Here is a summary:

When we are anchored in Christ, we accept the power of the gospel and live a power-filled life....no matter what the trial or temptation we face. When we are not anchored in Christ, we drift. Why? Because we begin to doubt his promises and we fail to believe in the power of his Word. No longer are we living a power-filled life. Instead we are living a powerless life. When unbelief settles into our heart, we drift and experience unrest in our souls. Unbelief is sin.....and sin is deceitful.....and if we stay in that unbelief we continue to be tossed back and forth by every wave and wind of life that comes our way. But there is hope! We can repent of our drifting, of our unbelief. We can draw near to God! We can hold fast! God has given us trials to reveal the POWER of knowing Jesus Christ. When we face trials and when temptations come, we can stay anchored in Christ. We can say, "Lord, THIS belongs to you!" We draw near to him and we hold fast. We find rest for our souls in the midst of the trial. We find joy. We find strength. We find peace. That is the POWER of knowing Jesus Christ!!!

Whew! Isn't that powerful!

Well, this may sound odd, but it is true for me. I find it easier to apply these truths when 'big things' come my way. Things like cancer. Yet, today, I am challenged to apply these truths in the little things. I see the 'winds and waves' approaching my laundry room. Apparently bad things can happen when laundry isn't done for several days. If you do not understand the spiritual trials that laundry can produce, then you are a well-disciplined soul; I have had to meet with the Lord on several occasions while 'drowning' in the midst of piles of clothes. So, I draw near to my Lord and hold fast and say, "Lord, THIS belongs to you!!!!"
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We must pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away. For if the message spoken by angels was binding, and every violation and disobedience received its just punishment, how shall we escape if we ignore such a great salvation? This salvation, which was first announced by the Lord, was confirmed to us by those who heard him. Hebrews 2:1-3

See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:12-14

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16

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If you are interested in finding out more about Elijah Ministries, check out www.spiritofelijah.com.

Shine a Light

This morning I awoke in my usual way. No alarm clock. No rooster crowing. Instead, around 7:00 a.m., I felt a gentle tapping on my shoulder from my oldest son, Spencer. In his soft morning voice he whispered, "Good Morning, Mommy." That is the only moment of each day that his voice is that quiet. "Soft" and "whisper" are not typical ways to describe his incredibly deep, low, and projecting 10-yr old voice. There have been times when I've thought to ask him to stop waking me each morning. But, he won't be young forever. Why squelch this precious morning moment?

A few minutes later, I heard our dog barking outside. "Spencer, will you go downstairs and let Chloe in the house?" "But mommy, it's still dark." "I know, but God is with you and will give you courage"...(While I was away at the homeschool convention, the boys watched the final show of The Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I knew that Spencer would imagine an Org or Smegel around every corner.) "Let her in so that she won't wake up our neighbors."

Reluctantly, he went downstairs to let our dog in and then came back upstairs to build his K-nex roller coaster. Five minutes later, Chloe was whining in the kitchen. The whining became more frequent and grew with intensity. I wasn't ready for the other 3 boys to wake up, so I crawled out of bed and came downstairs to put her back outside. With Spencer's recent digestion of "The Lord of the Rings," I expected to find a few lights on downstairs. Instead, every light was on.

In that moment, I was reminded of a powerful message spoken by a true statesman at the convention. Dr. John C. Whitcomb spoke on The Creator of the World on Saturday morning. His message was so impacting and his knowledge of scripture so incredible that I left with tears streaming down my face. Something he said which stuck with me was....."Don't spend your time cursing the darkness--Shine a light!"

That was a powerful word spoken by a humble man. Standing in my kitchen this morning, with every single light dispelling the darkness, I was encouraged to be the light that God has called me to be.
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But the Lord is the true God; he is the living God, the eternal King......But God made the earth by his power; he founded the world by his wisdom and stretched out the heavens by his understanding. (Emphasis added) Jeremiah. 10:10,12

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your father in heaven. Matthew 5:14-16

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"Dr. John C. Whitcomb is a founder, president and professor of Christian Workman Schools of Theology. He and his wife reside in Indianapolis, and enjoy spending time with their 6 children and 17 grandchildren......Dr. Whitcomb's life and ministry may be summed up in this quotation: 'I want to be in the full-time business of finding out what God says and telling as many people as I can.'" (Taken from a pamphlet on Christian Workman Schools of Theology. You can find out more about Dr. Whitcomb at www.whitcombministries.org)

Herceptin, Distractions, and STUFF

I just got back from my first treatment with Herceptin alone. Piece of Cake (so far)!!!!! For the rest of the year I will be receiving this treatment every 3 weeks. It takes longer to drive there and back then it takes to get the infusion.

Why Herceptin and Why so long? (WARNING...the following paragraph contains boring details!!!!!) Herceptin is a 'unique biologic therapy for cancers which have too much HER2 protein.' When a cancer cell has too much HER2, it will grow and divide faster than a typical cancer cell; so HER2-positive tumors grow and spread more rapidly. There's always the chance that a cancer cell could leave the area of the original tumor site and could 'attach' itself somewhere else in the body. So the standard of care, for women whose tumors over-express HER2, is to continue Herceptin for a year because it specifically targets any tumor cell which over-expresses the HER2 protein. Downside: Herceptin can weaken the heart muscle. Throughout my treatment, I have experienced mild chest discomfort off and on. Please pray with me that there will be no long-term toxicity to my heart.

I've been a little vague about my upcoming surgery. Partly, I don't want to burden anyone with the details. Plus, I'm not thinking too much about it. Is that denial? I don't know. But truthfully I have so many other things to distract me and I welcome the distractions. Next week I'll try to give a bit more info about my surgeries.....This week I'd rather share some of my distractions!!!

My oldest just finished IOWA testing. I'm finding more and more that he is a lot like me. And that makes me smile! For example, he actually LOVED being tested. He loved filling in the scan tron sheets, he loved talking to his friends during breaks, he loved that he knew many of the answers and he loved being challenged. He's a quirky kid....just like I was! I won't know how he did for another 6 weeks. But I don't need those scores to tell me where my son's academic weaknesses and strengths are. I already know...... because I am his teacher.

The Indiana Association of Home Educator's Convention takes place in Indianapolis this weekend. Originally, my surgery was planned for April 15th and I thought I'd have to miss the convention. But with my surgery date changed to April 29th, I get to go! I LOVE the convention. So many wonderful speakers, so many incredible curriculum, and SO MANY homeschoolers. It's an encouraging weekend for me!!

Next week, there will be doctors' appointments, school with the boys, and the Year End Program for the homeschool co-op we attend. A healthy dose of STUFF to do; just enough to keep me busy, but not too much to wear me out.

I just have to mention, again, how blessed I have been through this entire experience. Tiffini, a very dear friend of mine, has been helping to organize meals and house-cleaning during the various stages of my treatment. Late Monday night, she sent out an email to get some post-surgery meals ready. Before lunch on Tuesday....about 12 hours after the email was sent......all the slots were filled!!! I'm not sure I can express how humbling that is and how blessed that makes me feel.

May you have a healthy dose of STUFF to do this weekend. Enough to keep you busy, but not too much to wear you out. While you're doing your STUFF, don't forget to thank your Father in heaven for blessing you with the ability to do it!! And as Carol reminded me this week, remember to add some of the important things to your list......cuddling with your toddler...... reading a story to your preschooler..... playing a game with your elementary-age child.....and listening to your teenager..... Laundry, dishes, and sticks in the yard will never go away, but those kids will eventually grow up. They won't be little forever.

Stop Comparing

Last night some of my fellow homeschool moms and I finished discussing a book by Todd Wilson called, "Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe." It's been an encouraging book for all of us. The basic truths of this book are helpful for anyone: everything you do, every decision you make, and the attitudes you hold are based on what you believe. If you go through life comparing yourself to everyone around you, you will feel discouraged, defeated and alone. That is exactly where Satan would love for you to stay. He would love to keep you from experiencing the best that God has for us.

Here are some points that stuck with me.......

• Don't believe lies.
• Lies blind you from seeing the truth and leave you feeling defeated and alone.
• If lies go unchecked and unchallenged, your joy will be sucked right out of your home, your marriage, and your life. You will put undo pressures on your children, your spouse, and yourself.
• What are some of those lies we believe?.......Everyone else is more capable than you and can do it all. Everyone's marriage is better than yours. Everyone is more disciplined and more spiritual than you. Everyone fixes better meals, has a cleaner house, and better kids than you.....ya-da-ya-da-ya-da.
• Jesus taught the truth and it was freeing. God's truth is light and easy.
• Hiding your true self leaves you feeling alone and isolated. Being REAL produces freedom and healing. Being REAL deepens relationships.
• The great thing about TRUTH is that it's always TRUE. It doesn't change over time, smear when it gets wet, or stretch when it's pulled.

I believe someone, besides me, needed to be reminded of these truths today. As Todd puts it, "Let me encourage you not to compare your weaknesses against others' strengths. It's a losing proposition. Instead, be confident that God knew what He was doing when he made you and that your weaknesses and strengths are exactly the ones He wanted you to have." And just in case you need more affirmation.......know this:

• You ARE NOT alone.
• If you are a mother, God gave your children EXACTLY the mother they needed.
• You CAN'T do it all.
• God LOVES you!!!

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He [the devil] was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed...James 5:16

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John8:32