Cognitive Effects Study

On Tuesday I finished up my third and final session for the research study entitled, "Cognitive Effects of Breast Cancer Treatment: A Brain Imaging Study."

In preparation for this post I re-read the Informed Consent Statement that I signed and found an error in the section, "Benefits of Taking Part in the Study." It read....There is no benefit to you from participating in this study. I beg to differ.

So far, I've already thought of several personal benefits in my experience:

• THREE days out of the house in the company of adults.
• Free lunch (if you spend less than 6 dollars).
• An uninterrupted 30 minute nap in the MRI tunnel while listening to music of MY OWN choosing (not that I don't like Adventures in Odyssey or K-Love or Kid's Bible songs).
• Yummy Blueberry Muffins and Apple Juice after the blood draw.
• $150 for each visit. As I left Tuesday morning, I said to Sean..."I'm headed out to do my job for today."
• A feeling of doing something good for others.
• Checking off my exercise for the day.....those tunnels that get you from point A to point B to point C and back go on and on and on and on....
• Getting paid to exercise my brain for the day. For someone like me who likes Sudoku or Ken-Ken or cryptograms, Tuesday's cognitive testing, though challenging, was extremely fun. Let's see if I can still remember those words.......envelope, stapler, glue....lettuce, cabbage, broccoli, celery.....racket, baseball....what was that fourth group????? Ugh???
• Did I mention the $150/visit?

Thanks to Dr. M and Dory (and I suppose Dr. S...though I never met him) for your diligence in your research. Hopefully doctors will better understand the effects of chemotherapy on the brain.

P.S. Dory....It was Mrs. Brown, with a soccer ball, on route 30.......but ONLY after the 9 came after the 1.....which WAS NOT on the list!

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I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:12-13 (Paul writing to the saints in Christ Jesus at Philippi).

Tickle Our Ears

What a beautiful, refreshing rainy day we've had! I love rainy days.

This afternoon, the boys put on their swim trunks and shirts and played in the steady, gentle rain. Most of their time was spent in the creek moving rocks and building dams for their captured crawdad and minnows.

It's a beautiful picture to me....not the crawdads and minnows :).....but watching the boys playing so contently in the rain. After awhile they were nearly oblivious to the presence of the very thing that drew them outside in the first place....except, of course, when an unexpected drop tickled their ears.

The Holy Spirit is like that. He draws us out into some kind of 'work' or 'play' or 'ministry' and provides a beautiful, refreshing, steady presence in our lives. But, then we can get so busy at 'it', that we forget about His presence after awhile.....until His still small voice tickles our ears.

Tickle our ears today, Holy Spirit. Open our eyes. Let your Presence rain down.

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"I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions. Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days." Joel 2:28,29 and Acts 2:17,18

"But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you. All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will take from what is mine and make it known to you." (Jesus speaking to his disciples at the Last Supper). John 15:13-15.

Forward Steps

In February, I mentioned that I'd turned a corner and was on my way to finding 'me' again. Unfortunately, the moment was temporary. Though there were glimpses here and there through March and April, it took until the end of May to really feel like I was moving forward again.

Thankfully, I found a new doctor who was not only willing to listen to my concerns with true empathy, but she was also willing to DO something about it. Instead of the rhetorical...'that's too bad'.....'hmm, this normally doesn't happen'..... and 'let's give it some more time'.....this new doctor took initiative and said....'LET'S DO SOMETHING.' Praise God for Dr. K. P.!!!!

I also have had a physical therapist who has been working with me since June. She's not only been an intricate part of my physical healing, but she's also been instrumental in my emotional healing. She's given a listening and empathetic ear and great advice during each of my hour long treatments. Praise God for Barbara!!!

Moving forward feels SOOO good. This summer, instead of looking at the finish line and feeling disappointed in the distance that remains, I will be grateful for each forward step that I can take.

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"We have the idea that God is going to do some exceptional thing, that He is preparing and fitting us for some extraordinary thing by and by but as we go on in grace we find that God is glorifying Himself here and now, in the present minute. If we have God's say-so behind us, the most amazing strength comes, and we learn to sing in the ordinary days and ways." Taken from June 4 reading of My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers.

An Incredible Gift

Have you ever been going through your day....a day like any other day....when an unexpected blessing falls into your lap?

Last Wednesday I received a call from Carey Kinsolving, syndicated columnist and organizer of the Children's International Art Festival. I was one of two finalist for a contest. That's neat....what contest?? I thought. Though I'd been told by the contestant's mom that I'd be receiving this call, she had not filled me in on any of the details. Boy was I in for a HUGE surprise.

A very dear eleven year old friend of mine....whom I've known since her birth and have watched grow into a beautiful and Godly young woman.... wrote an essay about me as her teacher and friend. Her family is in the same homeschool co-op as mine. As I spoke to Carey on the phone, he began to fill in the details of this contest. The winner and her spouse would receive an all-inclusive trip to a Dude Ranch in the panhandle of Idaho. What? Are you serious??? I thought.

They were having difficulty picking the winner and he had a few questions for me. Does a trip like this interest you? Could you leave your 4 boys for a week? Do you like to ride horses? Could you make the trip in August? I answered in the affirmative, and more, for all of his questions. I'm sure I talked his ear off!!!

The next day, as my family traveled to New York for my niece's wedding at West Point, I drifted in and out of sleep in the front seat of our big green Suburban while holding the cell phone in my hand. The phone vibrated. I answered. RILEY'S ESSAY WON!!!! The phone call was a mixture of tears, laughs, exchange of information, and more tears. Cory from the Dude Ranch at Red Horse Mountain was also on the phone and he filled me in on some of the details of the ranch. Wow!! It sounds like a little piece of heaven on earth!!!

What a blessing from God! Thank you, Riley, for this incredible gift!

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For more details about the contests that Riley entered and about the Dude Ranch in the panhandle of Idaho, check out these websites:

www.kidstalkaboutGod.org/riley
http://www.redhorsemountain.com/

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Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created. James 1:17-18

Half Dead?

I just love the literal mind of younger children. Two days ago, Parker was reading about the Good Samaritan in his Bible reader. When he read that the man was left half dead by the side of the road, he stopped and thought for a moment. He's a day dreamer by nature so I often find myself 'nudging' him back to the present. Just as I was about to 'nudge' him he said this:

What does that mean, Mommy?
What does what mean, Parker?
Half dead?
That's a good question, Parker.
Does it mean he was dead from here [Parker placed his hands on the middle of his torso] down? [He motions to his feet.]

I just shook my head.....again......

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"Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
"What is written in the Law?" he {Jesus} replied. "How do you read it?"
He answered: "'Love the Lord your God with all our heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
"You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."
John 10: 25b-28

Looks Benign....Yay!!!

What a nice pathologist I saw today! She performed the biopsy of the nodule on my thyroid.

She was thorough. She answered all my questions. She explained the procedure in detail. She was as gentle as she could be....though that last sample did hurt. She was even able to make a preliminary assessment that the nodule is not cancerous. She is 95% certain of that. She'll ship off the slides that they made of my cells to be examined more closely and I'll get the final report next week.

Unfortunately, she nicked a blood vessel and left me with a very bruised and swollen neck. She apologized profusely. When I asked if a scarf would cover it up, she said it would, but I should probably use a purple one......

Ice every 2 hours for a few days and eventually the 'strangled' look will go away. Nice. Just in time for Mother's Day.

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Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck
write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and man.
Proverbs 3:3-4

Parker's Ponderings and a Prayer Request

Recently I had the incredible opportunity to be a team member for a Women's Discipleship Walk through my church. It was a wonderful time watching God work in the lives of so many women, including my own.

Of course, these opportunities are always surrounded with chaos for me. In this case, Sean's return flight home from an out-of-state work trip didn't land until many hours after I was supposed to be at the campground. Thankfully, I had some help from some friends and family and was able to get each boy 'shipped off' for a sleep over at various locations.

One homeschooling friend was brave enough to take Parker. Miriam has three older children between 6th and 9th grade. So for my seven year old Parker, who flourishes in the company of older kids and adults, it was the perfect place for him to be.

Miriam says she could write a book of all the funny-odd-strange sayings that came out of Parker's mouth on his visit to her house. But for now, she's offered this conversation that took place at the Lego table between Parker and her 8th grade son, Sean:

Parker: Sean, do you have a female?
Sean: Uh? A Lego female figure?
Parker: No, you know...a female.
Sean: Aaaa....
Parker: A female that you're going to marry.
Sean: O-o-o-h-h...no I don't have one yet.

Oh, the funny things that kids say. And for the record, we're considering making Parker wear a T-shirt that reads, "My parents take no responsibility for the things that come out of my mouth!"

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A Simple Thank You: I do want to take the opportunity to thank so many who check this site and who continually keep me and my family in prayer. I'm often amazed at the number of people who say that they continue to read this blog, checking in to see what they can pray about for me. Soon, I will try to update more on my current physical, emotional, spiritual state. But for now, I ask for continued prayers for increased strength and stamina, for decreased pain in my right chest wall and right arm, for continued peace when odd symptoms pop up, and for a Christ-like mind and attitude as I walk through this on-going battle to take back my life. I'm having a fine-needle aspiration tomorrow due to a nodule present on the left side of my thyroid. Nodules are common. In fact, I've had this nodule for a couple of years. Many people have them. Over 95-99% of them are benign. But the only way to make sure it's not malignant is to do a biopsy. Given my recent history, the new endocrinologist I'm seeing thinks it's best to be sure. And so I go.......