Slow to Speak, Quick to Listen

Why do some lessons in life have to be learned over and over and over and over again? Earlier, I mentioned my need and desire to be a better listener. Well, I see that my opportunity has come......

This weekend I developed my first very bad, very aggravating mouth sore. Ouch! It is most aggravated by eating and speaking. It would take more than a mouth sore to keep me quiet, but I've definitely become more selective in choosing to speak.

I've had some interesting discoveries through this process:

Not every argument needs to be settled by mommy. I've had to let some of the bickering between brothers go longer than I would normally tolerate. And surprisingly, they often end up working it out on their own.

My husband has some interesting things to say. Interrupting is a very, very, very, very bad habit of mine (and not just with conversations with my husband). I do try to keep myself from 'jumping' in with my thoughts when they pop up, but I still have some growing to do in that area. I know for myself it can take a while to formulate an idea in my head to answer some one's questions. Why would it be any different for someone else?

One can learn a lot by listening. That seems pretty basic, but the truth of it seems to elude many of us, including me. Here's a tidbit from the class Sean and I attended on Effective Communication: "Silence allows the speaker to become aware of his or her own feelings, to explore more deeply and to proceed at his or her own pace. Because many listeners become self-conscious with silence, they feel the need to 'break' it by talking or asking questions. Unfortunately, this usually disrupts and derails the speaker."

Despite my painful mouth, I'm glad for the lessons learned on listening. I hope they stick once my mouth improves. It's also a good reminder to continue to listen to what God is speaking to me. He speaks, you know. Through his Word, during prayer, through a friend, and often in a still small voice. But we have to pause and be still before we can listen.

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My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:19

My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body. Proverbs 4:20-22

Now then, my sons, listen to me; blessed are those who keep my ways. Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it. Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. Proverbs 8:32-34

Be still, and know that I am God. Psalms 46:10a