When Waiting Takes Forever

I'm happy to report that yesterday I finished my 12th weeks of chemotherapy and herceptin. Although it was a very long day with unexpected twists and turns, God was faithful.

We started with our homeschool co-op day. This has been the highlight of the week for my boys and for me. It has been one of our constants during this time. And God has been ever so good to our co-op. We have a creative and loving group of moms with servants' hearts, and we have about 80 energetic and wonderful kids who participate each week. I've really enjoyed watching their friendships bloom. Here's what everyone enjoyed:

Spencer: Playing sharks and minnows in Gym, Figuring things out in Creative Communications, Seeing Abraham Lincoln's cabin in Indiana History.
Trevor: Drawing a tree in Art Class, Playing Freeze Tag in Gym, Sharing his poster about the White House in Geography.
Parker: Playing cool instruments and listening to music in Music class, Making Cards in Schoonerville, and Playing in Gym.
Brenner: Well, he opted to stay home with daddy that morning and I didn't have the strength or gumption to make him go.
Mommy: Seeing every one's efforts come together for a wonderful day, Seeing the smiles on the kid's faces, Listening to a few of our mom's teach and watching the classroom interaction take place.

We had to leave the co-op before lunch. After a quick zip through McD's drive-thru, I took the boys and their lunch to my house where my mom waited for us. We exchanged quick hugs and instructions before Sean and I left for my last treatment.

Here's where my patience was tested. I had to decide to 'trust in the Lord with all of my heart and lean not on my own understanding.' I had to accept by faith that 'all things work together for good.' And, above all things, I had to acknowledge there are a lot of hurting and sick people in this world and only so many hours in a day. I needed to extend grace to my physicians and their staff, even when the waiting seemed to take forever.

The gist of the story is that my chemo day took twice as long as it normally would. Also, a week had passed since decisions about my upcoming surgeries had been made, and yet important communication to get my surgery date scheduled hadn't taken place. I had done all that I could to get the process rolling. And now all I could do was wait. Waiting takes forever sometimes. Can anyone relate?

So, I've chosen to do what works best. I trust in the Lord. I put my faith in Him. I realize that my option to do bilateral mastectomies and oopherectomies (removal of my ovaries) in one surgery requires more planning than a normal surgery. So, I pray that my two doctors and their staff will be able to work out the details. Things don't always work out in the way or in the time frame that we hope, but God is sovereign and He is faithful. Can I get a witness?!!!

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Addendum: I tried to post my blog earlier today, but there was something wrong with my connection. But I see it as a God's timing. Since writing this morning, I've had two calls from one of my doctor's offices. The ball is rolling. I still don't know for certain when my surgery will be or where it will happen, but communication has started. God's still in control. So, once again, I'll keep on waiting. And even if it takes forever, I'll know that it's okay.

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Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible. Hebrews 11:1

And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. Genesis 1:3......(God spoke our visible world into existence. Not only do we serve an omnipotent Creator, but we are also loved and treasured by Him. Did you know that the words, "And God said," or their equivalent, are found over 2,500 times in the Bible?)

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9......(This proverb assures us that even when our plans fail, God will ultimately bring about his purposes. Lord, may my plans reflect your desires.)