Last week didn't turn out as I had planned......and that's a good thing. Initially, I thought I'd have a week to myself without any of the boys. I'd have time to get my house back in order, time to get in some important planning meetings for the homeschool co-op, and time to read a good book and rest. Trevor's unexpected trip to the ER changed that.
Spencer went off to Church Camp without Trevor. Parker and Brenner went off with Mimi and Papaw for a week of camping. Sean was in and out of town with his work. Trevor and I stayed home.
It turns out that Spencer had a blast on his trip to Wise, West Virginia. He went caving and swimming, completed a ropes course and ate LOTS of food....More importantly, he had the opportunity to 'grow in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.' (Luke 2:52) He grew up just a little bit more while he was away. I'm so proud of Spencer.
Parker and Brenner had a blast on their trip to Turkey Run and Raccoon Lake with Mimi and Papaw. They rode bikes, splashed in the lake, played at the playground, met new friends and ate LOTS of food.....More importantly, they had a special time with their grandparents.....What a wonderful memory they will have of their trip in the big RV with Mimi and Papaw!!!!! Brenner, at 4 1/2, learned how to ride without his training wheels on the trip. Boy, was he excited to show us his new feat when he got home. "Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children." (Prov. 17:6) "Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." (Deut. 7:9) I'm so proud of Parker and Brenner.
Trevor had a blast staying home. He spent two days and one night with one of his best buddies. He had a date just with me, some time just with his daddy, and a date with me and his daddy.....ALL in one week. He certainly doesn't usually get that kind of one-on-one time. I'm so glad he had it!!! Of all my boys, he asks the least of me. I'm a busy mom, and sometimes I forget to take the extra one-on-one time that really ministers to the spirits of my boys. "Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right." (Proverbs 20:11) I'm so proud of Trevor.
I had a blast, too. I had time to organize some of my house and attend some important meetings, time to visit with friends and read part of book, and time to rest. But most importantly, I had time for Trevor.
Thank you, Lord!!
**********
I read this morning that 'sons will be like olive shoots around your table.' (Ps 128:3). Well, I don't know how fast olive shoots grow, but if its anything like my boys.....look out!!! In the last three months, the boys collectively have grown 2 1/2 inches!!! Trevor grew 1 inch. Brenner grew 3/4 inch. Parker grew 1/2 inch. Spencer grew 1/4 inch. If they keep this up they'll be all grown and out the door in no time!!!.....oh, I miss them already! :)
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Duck Walking 101
There are some basic do's and don't's a parent covers with their children as they grow up. Like, don't run with sharp objects, look before you cross the street, don't talk to strangers when mommy and daddy aren't around. For the hundreds of things that you DO talk to them about, there are millions of things that you just don't foresee happening.
Well, one of those millions of things happened to us this week. Although Sean and I have covered the one about not playing on the staircase, apparently we weren't specific enough. I was in the kitchen talking on the phone with Sean who was in Chicago, when we both heard the rumble, boom, crash, scream. Trevor had just fallen down the stairs and was screaming, "I can't look at it! I can't look at it!" I quickly told Sean, "I think Trevor just broke his arm. I've got to go!" Then I hung up and went into frantic mommy mode.
First......get Trevor calmed down. He was screaming, "Call 911. Take me to Riley," as he came around the corner. His left forearm was crooked and his arm was hanging limp by his side. No blood....that's good! After getting him comfortable on the couch, we moved on to step two.
Second....find someone to watch the other three boys. I made one call after another.....nobody was home. No time to leave messages. Got to hurry. In between unanswered rings, I was barking out orders to my oldest, one right after another......he wasn't sure which one to do first. (Looking back, I'm so proud of him. He did an amazing job considering my frantic state.) "Make an ice pack and get it on Trevor's arm.....Tell Parker to get out of the tub and get dressed......Run next door and see if you boys can go there." Praise God, Tammy was home!
Third.....get Trevor to the hospital. Now that we were safely in the car and on our way to the hospital, I had a chance to find out HOW Trevor came to tumbling down the stairs. Whereas my oldest can tell you one detail after another in relating a story, but has difficulty 'summing' it up, Trevor can 'sum' it all up in 10 words or less. Getting the details can be harder than pulling teeth! Just like his daddy, that one is!
Me: Trevor, what happened?
Trevor: I fell like a rock down the stairs.
Me: Yes, I heard you falling. But HOW did that happen?
Trevor: I don't know.
Me: What were you doing? We're you trying to slide head first?
Trevor: No..........It's hard to explain, mommy. Obviously he was still in a lot of pain from the trauma, and the fact that he couldn't move his arm to show me what he was doing, made it that much harder for him to describe.
Me: Honey, I want you to try really hard to think about what you were doing before you fell down the stairs. Can you tell me?
Trevor: You know how sometimes Brenner and me like to squat down like ducks and take little steps to our room. We were doing that.
Me: Did you just get too close to the stairs?
Trevor: No, I was trying to walk down the stairs like a duck. I got down one step and then I tried to hop down to the next one." Then with tears and the realization that he'd be in another cast for another long summer, "Why do these things happen to me? Why did God let me break my arm?"
Me: At this point I'm using every bit of restraint I have not to point out the obvious. A lecture wouldn't fix his arm or calm his fears. "Oh, honey, I know it hurts. We're almost to the hospital. They're going to take good care of you." And then I prayed that it would be so!
Trevor had to wait nearly 5 long hours before they could fix his arm. Initially they tried to do it with him awake. Nope, not gonna happen! So he had to wait for another emergency surgery to finish up before he was put under general anesthesia. The orthopedic doctor was able to realign the two broken forearm bones (without making any incisions) and then set the arm in a neon green cast. Trevor's not at all happy about his circumstances and the long summer ahead with a broken arm. He'll miss church camp next week and football for yet another season. No more swimming or riding his bike for several weeks. He's a trooper and will get through it, but I still feel so bad for him.
Looking back I realize that Trevor was pretty accurate with his 8-word description of the event. He did fall like a rock down the stairs......head over heels one time before crash landing. If you're a parent, you might want to add one more thing to your Parenting 101 list of do's and don't's. Don't duckwalk or duckhop down the stairs!
Thank you, Tammy, for taking care of my other three boys on such short notice. Thank you, Kelly and Jacob, Mom and Dad for coming to the hospital. You'll never really understand how that ministered to my Trevor. Dad, you're the best! Thank you for searching high and low for a deck of cards, for showing Trevor the secret to one of your card tricks, and for staying with me to the wee hours of the morning. Mom, you're my hero! Thank you for picking up the other three and getting them tucked safely into bed......and for being in Martha-mode with my laundry! :)
Well, one of those millions of things happened to us this week. Although Sean and I have covered the one about not playing on the staircase, apparently we weren't specific enough. I was in the kitchen talking on the phone with Sean who was in Chicago, when we both heard the rumble, boom, crash, scream. Trevor had just fallen down the stairs and was screaming, "I can't look at it! I can't look at it!" I quickly told Sean, "I think Trevor just broke his arm. I've got to go!" Then I hung up and went into frantic mommy mode.
First......get Trevor calmed down. He was screaming, "Call 911. Take me to Riley," as he came around the corner. His left forearm was crooked and his arm was hanging limp by his side. No blood....that's good! After getting him comfortable on the couch, we moved on to step two.
Second....find someone to watch the other three boys. I made one call after another.....nobody was home. No time to leave messages. Got to hurry. In between unanswered rings, I was barking out orders to my oldest, one right after another......he wasn't sure which one to do first. (Looking back, I'm so proud of him. He did an amazing job considering my frantic state.) "Make an ice pack and get it on Trevor's arm.....Tell Parker to get out of the tub and get dressed......Run next door and see if you boys can go there." Praise God, Tammy was home!
Third.....get Trevor to the hospital. Now that we were safely in the car and on our way to the hospital, I had a chance to find out HOW Trevor came to tumbling down the stairs. Whereas my oldest can tell you one detail after another in relating a story, but has difficulty 'summing' it up, Trevor can 'sum' it all up in 10 words or less. Getting the details can be harder than pulling teeth! Just like his daddy, that one is!
Me: Trevor, what happened?
Trevor: I fell like a rock down the stairs.
Me: Yes, I heard you falling. But HOW did that happen?
Trevor: I don't know.
Me: What were you doing? We're you trying to slide head first?
Trevor: No..........It's hard to explain, mommy. Obviously he was still in a lot of pain from the trauma, and the fact that he couldn't move his arm to show me what he was doing, made it that much harder for him to describe.
Me: Honey, I want you to try really hard to think about what you were doing before you fell down the stairs. Can you tell me?
Trevor: You know how sometimes Brenner and me like to squat down like ducks and take little steps to our room. We were doing that.
Me: Did you just get too close to the stairs?
Trevor: No, I was trying to walk down the stairs like a duck. I got down one step and then I tried to hop down to the next one." Then with tears and the realization that he'd be in another cast for another long summer, "Why do these things happen to me? Why did God let me break my arm?"
Me: At this point I'm using every bit of restraint I have not to point out the obvious. A lecture wouldn't fix his arm or calm his fears. "Oh, honey, I know it hurts. We're almost to the hospital. They're going to take good care of you." And then I prayed that it would be so!
Trevor had to wait nearly 5 long hours before they could fix his arm. Initially they tried to do it with him awake. Nope, not gonna happen! So he had to wait for another emergency surgery to finish up before he was put under general anesthesia. The orthopedic doctor was able to realign the two broken forearm bones (without making any incisions) and then set the arm in a neon green cast. Trevor's not at all happy about his circumstances and the long summer ahead with a broken arm. He'll miss church camp next week and football for yet another season. No more swimming or riding his bike for several weeks. He's a trooper and will get through it, but I still feel so bad for him.
Looking back I realize that Trevor was pretty accurate with his 8-word description of the event. He did fall like a rock down the stairs......head over heels one time before crash landing. If you're a parent, you might want to add one more thing to your Parenting 101 list of do's and don't's. Don't duckwalk or duckhop down the stairs!
Thank you, Tammy, for taking care of my other three boys on such short notice. Thank you, Kelly and Jacob, Mom and Dad for coming to the hospital. You'll never really understand how that ministered to my Trevor. Dad, you're the best! Thank you for searching high and low for a deck of cards, for showing Trevor the secret to one of your card tricks, and for staying with me to the wee hours of the morning. Mom, you're my hero! Thank you for picking up the other three and getting them tucked safely into bed......and for being in Martha-mode with my laundry! :)
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
"Tag, You're It!!"
I've been tagged......with a meme......and although I know what a Mimi is, I've never heard of a 'meme.' (I'm still very knew to the blogging world!!!) But I'm happy to play along. Thankfully, I was able to find out the rules by going back to the blog of the one who tagged me.....(Thanks, Judy @ http://midsummermeanderings.blogspot.com/ )........So here it goes:
The rules of the game get posted at the beginning:
1. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
2. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read the player’s blog.
3. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.
Q. What were you doing five years ago today?
1. Sean and I made the official decision to homeschool....Spencer was to start Kindergarten in the Fall. We were a bit leery about what our friends and family would think and how they would react because there weren't many homeschoolers in our circle of friends/family at that time.
2. Well, I know I wasn't eating bon-bons every day, though I'd sometimes dream about it!!!! I had three boys who were 5 years old and under.....with another on the way!!!!
3. I was past the half-way mark of my fifth pregnancy.....and just starting to breathe easier. Our fourth son, Peter Michael, was Heavenborn during my second trimester and I was afraid it might happen again.
4. I was working as a Physical Therapist one day each week at a hospital in Indy. It was like a mini-vacation from my Real Job As a Mom.....only I got paid for it!!!!
5. I was thrilled for my husband. God had provided him with a wonderful job that he really wanted AND he was enjoying, too!! That's always a bonus.
Q. 5 things on your to do list today.
1. Find some phoo-phoo creamer for my coffee!!!! I can't drink it black or with milk. I NEED Hazelnut creamer.....we were out....and Sean, who usually makes the trip to the store in the morning when we find ourselves in this predicament (because he wants it just as much as me....though he'd never admit it), was OUT OF TOWN!!!!
2. Radiation. My third radiation treatment was scheduled for 9:45.....but the office called at 9:10 to tell me that the machine was down and could I make it later in the day? I was thinking, "Uh.....that may not be as simple as you think. My husband is out of town, my childcare was lined up for the designated time (9:45), I've got other appointments today and I can't just walk in there with my four boys." BUT, I said, "Well, you can call me on my cell phone up until 1:00, but I doubt I can make it in the afternoon." I did get a call (when I was doing my to-do list #3) and was able to get in at 12:30.
3. Dog Food. Must get dog food. Poor thing has been out of food for almost 2 days and is relying on our table scraps....though I'm sure she didn't mind that at all!!! So, I decided to go ahead and go to my friend's house (who was going to watch the boys while I went to my radiation appointment), only I stayed, too, and we visited. Then, the boys and I left at 10:30 and headed to Wal-Mart for Dog Food........oh, yes....and don't forget the Hazelnut Creamer ......and bread.....and fruit.....some yogurt.....we're out of cereal, too. It donned on me that I hadn't made a trip like this with all 4 boys for over 8 months!!!! So although some of you may think I'm crazy, it was a WONDERFUL trip just knowing I had the energy to do it!!!
4. Oncology Visit and Herceptin Infusion. You just never know how this is going to work out. Either everything goes well and in a timely manner....OR.....not. Today it was a not. Everything went well, it just wasn't timely. Thankfully, my dear neighbor who was watching my boys was not in any hurry to go anywhere or be anywhere. So, for my boys, I'm sure they were glad my appointment lasted FOREVER. They had a blast at their friend's house!
5. Read......I'm reading another book by one of my favorite fiction authors....Ted Dekker. Though I'm not so sure I'm sold on this particular book. But I had PLENTY of time to read while I waited for my doctor.
Q. 5 snacks you enjoy:
1. Apples with peanut butter.
2. Whatchamacallit Candy Bars (haven't had one in years!)
3. Kettle Popcorn.
4. Applesauce with mini-chocolate chips on top.
5. Peanut Butter Cookies.
Q. 5 things you would do if you were a billionaire:
1. Buy a house with lots of acreage, including creeks and trees to climb. My husband could retire and be the gentleman farmer he's always wanted to be (well, that is, that's what he told me last year when I asked him a similar question).
2. Do and Give to many short-term missions trips over-sees, especially in Africa.
3. Take a very long vacation to Italy and Greece. My grandma is 100% Macedonian but was born in the USA. Her parents immigrated here. I would love to take her and all of the Christ family to Macedonia (north Greece).
4. Adopt as many children as Sean would let me.
5. Invest wisely and then give the rest to those in need and to various research (like breast cancer).
Q. 5 jobs you have had.
1. Yogurt Server
2. Activities Leader for a Nursing Home
3. Camp Counselor at Bradford Woods
4. Resident Assistant in my dorm in college (paid for room and board!!)
5. Physical Therapist
Q. 5 people you want to tag.
(This one's hard, because I'm so new to blogging!!! Ladies, if you've done this before, just refer me to your blog entry!!)
1. Monica @ http://monica-shineagain.blogspot.com/
2. Tisha @ http://tisha-myrestingplace.blogspot.com/
3. Rachel @ http://jacksonfamilynews.blogspot.com/
4. Michelle @ http://glorious-mayhem.blogspot.com/
5. Ronda @ http://rondasnotes.blogspot.com/
The rules of the game get posted at the beginning:
1. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
2. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read the player’s blog.
3. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.
Q. What were you doing five years ago today?
1. Sean and I made the official decision to homeschool....Spencer was to start Kindergarten in the Fall. We were a bit leery about what our friends and family would think and how they would react because there weren't many homeschoolers in our circle of friends/family at that time.
2. Well, I know I wasn't eating bon-bons every day, though I'd sometimes dream about it!!!! I had three boys who were 5 years old and under.....with another on the way!!!!
3. I was past the half-way mark of my fifth pregnancy.....and just starting to breathe easier. Our fourth son, Peter Michael, was Heavenborn during my second trimester and I was afraid it might happen again.
4. I was working as a Physical Therapist one day each week at a hospital in Indy. It was like a mini-vacation from my Real Job As a Mom.....only I got paid for it!!!!
5. I was thrilled for my husband. God had provided him with a wonderful job that he really wanted AND he was enjoying, too!! That's always a bonus.
Q. 5 things on your to do list today.
1. Find some phoo-phoo creamer for my coffee!!!! I can't drink it black or with milk. I NEED Hazelnut creamer.....we were out....and Sean, who usually makes the trip to the store in the morning when we find ourselves in this predicament (because he wants it just as much as me....though he'd never admit it), was OUT OF TOWN!!!!
2. Radiation. My third radiation treatment was scheduled for 9:45.....but the office called at 9:10 to tell me that the machine was down and could I make it later in the day? I was thinking, "Uh.....that may not be as simple as you think. My husband is out of town, my childcare was lined up for the designated time (9:45), I've got other appointments today and I can't just walk in there with my four boys." BUT, I said, "Well, you can call me on my cell phone up until 1:00, but I doubt I can make it in the afternoon." I did get a call (when I was doing my to-do list #3) and was able to get in at 12:30.
3. Dog Food. Must get dog food. Poor thing has been out of food for almost 2 days and is relying on our table scraps....though I'm sure she didn't mind that at all!!! So, I decided to go ahead and go to my friend's house (who was going to watch the boys while I went to my radiation appointment), only I stayed, too, and we visited. Then, the boys and I left at 10:30 and headed to Wal-Mart for Dog Food........oh, yes....and don't forget the Hazelnut Creamer ......and bread.....and fruit.....some yogurt.....we're out of cereal, too. It donned on me that I hadn't made a trip like this with all 4 boys for over 8 months!!!! So although some of you may think I'm crazy, it was a WONDERFUL trip just knowing I had the energy to do it!!!
4. Oncology Visit and Herceptin Infusion. You just never know how this is going to work out. Either everything goes well and in a timely manner....OR.....not. Today it was a not. Everything went well, it just wasn't timely. Thankfully, my dear neighbor who was watching my boys was not in any hurry to go anywhere or be anywhere. So, for my boys, I'm sure they were glad my appointment lasted FOREVER. They had a blast at their friend's house!
5. Read......I'm reading another book by one of my favorite fiction authors....Ted Dekker. Though I'm not so sure I'm sold on this particular book. But I had PLENTY of time to read while I waited for my doctor.
Q. 5 snacks you enjoy:
1. Apples with peanut butter.
2. Whatchamacallit Candy Bars (haven't had one in years!)
3. Kettle Popcorn.
4. Applesauce with mini-chocolate chips on top.
5. Peanut Butter Cookies.
Q. 5 things you would do if you were a billionaire:
1. Buy a house with lots of acreage, including creeks and trees to climb. My husband could retire and be the gentleman farmer he's always wanted to be (well, that is, that's what he told me last year when I asked him a similar question).
2. Do and Give to many short-term missions trips over-sees, especially in Africa.
3. Take a very long vacation to Italy and Greece. My grandma is 100% Macedonian but was born in the USA. Her parents immigrated here. I would love to take her and all of the Christ family to Macedonia (north Greece).
4. Adopt as many children as Sean would let me.
5. Invest wisely and then give the rest to those in need and to various research (like breast cancer).
Q. 5 jobs you have had.
1. Yogurt Server
2. Activities Leader for a Nursing Home
3. Camp Counselor at Bradford Woods
4. Resident Assistant in my dorm in college (paid for room and board!!)
5. Physical Therapist
Q. 5 people you want to tag.
(This one's hard, because I'm so new to blogging!!! Ladies, if you've done this before, just refer me to your blog entry!!)
1. Monica @ http://monica-shineagain.blogspot.com/
2. Tisha @ http://tisha-myrestingplace.blogspot.com/
3. Rachel @ http://jacksonfamilynews.blogspot.com/
4. Michelle @ http://glorious-mayhem.blogspot.com/
5. Ronda @ http://rondasnotes.blogspot.com/
Monday, June 16, 2008
Belly Button Blues
Since my surgeries at the end of April, I've had one irritation after another with my oophorectomy incisions. Today was my third trip back to my gynecologist. It's not her fault. Apparently my body doesn't like the dissolving stitches that she used. Instead of quietly dissolving, they've been doing their best to find their way out in the most annoying ways, particularly in my belly button. Dr. R has used as much TLC as she can to help me heal, but it's not always pain-free. On my second trip, she had to give me TWO lidocaine shots in my belly button before she dug out 2 of the pesky stitches.....Can you say 'OOOOOOOUUUUUUUCH!'. We thought that would do it, but no, there was one more peaking out today. Thankfully, no shots were involved. So, hopefully that will be it. I'll continue to diligently clean the area twice a day, and pray that it will heal soon.
My belly button blues have been a constant irritation for weeks. Yet, I've been rather patient and diligent in dealing with the issue, waiting for healing to come. I would be remiss not to mention the parallel I see in my life as a mother...............
As a mom, I deal with character training in my kids several times day. The truth is I often see it as a 'constant irritation.' It's extremely easy to loose sight of the goal and to get frustrated with the whole process. At times I can be patient, but at other times I just wish my kids would get it the first time! Why don't they just get it? Do I have to explain this or teach that one more time? Didn't we just deal with that last week/ yesterday/ten minutes ago!
Like my Belly Button Blues, character training takes patience, diligence, A LOT of prayer and a WHOLE LOT of love. More than that, it takes a good Doctor. I'm glad I have one. He is always available to give me some TLC and direction as I work through the issues. But seeing Him can be a painful and often humbling process. He sees those pesky weaknesses in my life and does his best to bring them to the surface so that I can be a better mom. Getting them 'plucked' out can be as painful as those pesky stitches in my belly! Thankfully, He doesn't point his finger at me and say, "Why don't you just get it? Do I have to explain this one more time? Didn't we just deal with that last week/yesterday/ ten minutes ago!" Instead, He says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9)
*********
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." Matthew 7:3-5
My belly button blues have been a constant irritation for weeks. Yet, I've been rather patient and diligent in dealing with the issue, waiting for healing to come. I would be remiss not to mention the parallel I see in my life as a mother...............
As a mom, I deal with character training in my kids several times day. The truth is I often see it as a 'constant irritation.' It's extremely easy to loose sight of the goal and to get frustrated with the whole process. At times I can be patient, but at other times I just wish my kids would get it the first time! Why don't they just get it? Do I have to explain this or teach that one more time? Didn't we just deal with that last week/ yesterday/ten minutes ago!
Like my Belly Button Blues, character training takes patience, diligence, A LOT of prayer and a WHOLE LOT of love. More than that, it takes a good Doctor. I'm glad I have one. He is always available to give me some TLC and direction as I work through the issues. But seeing Him can be a painful and often humbling process. He sees those pesky weaknesses in my life and does his best to bring them to the surface so that I can be a better mom. Getting them 'plucked' out can be as painful as those pesky stitches in my belly! Thankfully, He doesn't point his finger at me and say, "Why don't you just get it? Do I have to explain this one more time? Didn't we just deal with that last week/yesterday/ ten minutes ago!" Instead, He says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9)
*********
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." Matthew 7:3-5
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Motivation for Today and Frogs for the Moment
This week I returned for the second test of the clinical study on the effects of chemotherapy on the brain. (My first experience was in January...see "Define Panacea.") It was more of the same and I'm happy to say it was just as much fun. I know.....I'm a nerd!!! My most favorite moment was defining 'panacea.' (Of course, I still have trouble with calendar and number.....Try defining those words....It's not as easy as you may think!)
In the midst my 'fun,' I was pleasantly surprised by what I learned.
First, I was reminded that motivation is important. Apparently, in this study, it takes more effort to keep the non-cancer participants motivated during the long day of testing and for the duration of the study (3 test days spread out over 18 months). It takes less effort to motivate the cancer participants. Both groups are given a monetary incentive, which makes the time commitment worth the effort. Yet, cancer participants seem to have a stronger belief that their involvement will help researchers, and subsequently other cancer patients in the future......That's what gets us through the 8-9 hour long day. What is the motivation? Believing that something you are doing can make a difference. Motivation is important, and it goes beyond this clinical study. I don't want to live my life with the mentality of the non-cancer participants: "I can't wait to get through this day" or "How much will I get (or where's my reward?)" I want to make a difference.....wherever God wants me to make it.
Second, I was reminded that unexpected nuggets of truth and discovery are wrapped up in our experiences. I miss them altogether when life becomes one 'to do' list after another. As a mom, balancing the 'to do' with 'the moment' requires energy and a willing spirit. For example, everyday I have a plan, or at least some semblance of a plan. That plan usually involves going somewhere, or not.....doing something, or not.....seeing someone, or not. It quite often involves my 4 children.....my 4 very active boy-children....my 4 very active boy-children who rarely understand how important it is to me that the plan run smoothly. Sure, we can get from point A to point B.....but, unfortunately, HOW we get there can sometimes make or break this mom's day.
Case in point: Vacation Bible School. It would be nice to take the kids to VBS and have them all: 1) Walk to their classes, 2) Speak respectfully to their teachers, 3) Listen and not interrupt the lessons, and 4) Walk with me to the car when VBS is over. These are ALL good plans and ALL good expectations. But guess what? They are children. They get excited. They get distracted. They get hungry. They get overstimulated. And sometimes......when you least expect it....when you've almost reached point B...... a frog hops haphazardly along the sidewalk as you're leaving the building. What does a boy do when he sees a frog hopping along.....imagine 4 boys doing that!!!! (Well, it happened to me....with 2 extra boys in tow!!!)
Okay...I had a point.....hmmmm......I lost my point......Where was I headed with that?.....Just a minute........oh, there it is....................
There are wonderful nuggets of truth and discovery just waiting to be found...IF we'll just take a moment, in our attempt to complete our 'to-do's', to notice. These nuggets aren't accidents. They aren't coincidences or random happenings. They have purpose, just as we have purpose. Though we may never understand their purpose, the significance of their presence in our lives is not diminished.
I believe God really wanted me 'to get' this point about experiencing the unexpected....about taking my 'horse blinders' off from time to time.....about experiencing the moment and waiting on the 'to-do's.' My lesson was wrapped up in form of a frolicsome amphibian! Do you remember that frog at VBS? Well, I wished it had never hopped along our path. My plan involved getting home ASAP and that was what was going to happen!!! So I did NOT let the boys play with it. It worked....although it wasn't very pretty. There was some frustration ....some yelling.... some anxiety...... some cajoling and corralling. When we got home, the boys were playing outside for about 20 minutes when all of a sudden one of them says, "Hey! There's a frog! Look! There's a FROG!!" Screams, giggles, scurrying and frantic hopping ensued. In the eight years that we've lived in this neighborhood, we've seen only 2 or 3 frogs. So, finding a frog is rare! Coincidence? No way! Divine intervention to drive home a point? I think so!
God, as I fight this mental and physical fatigue, may I not be discouraged with the unfamiliar pace with which I trudge forward. Grant me a willing spirit to sustain me. Lord, thank you for reminding me to stay motivated. Help me to find and to do things that please you and bring you glory. May I make a difference today. And Lord, I just wanted to thank you for the frogs. That was a great way to get my attention and a wonderful lesson to share with my sons. May we be ready for whatever you would have us to do. May we take time for the unplanned nuggets of truth and discovery that you bring across our path......even the green ones that hop!
*********
In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9
In the midst my 'fun,' I was pleasantly surprised by what I learned.
First, I was reminded that motivation is important. Apparently, in this study, it takes more effort to keep the non-cancer participants motivated during the long day of testing and for the duration of the study (3 test days spread out over 18 months). It takes less effort to motivate the cancer participants. Both groups are given a monetary incentive, which makes the time commitment worth the effort. Yet, cancer participants seem to have a stronger belief that their involvement will help researchers, and subsequently other cancer patients in the future......That's what gets us through the 8-9 hour long day. What is the motivation? Believing that something you are doing can make a difference. Motivation is important, and it goes beyond this clinical study. I don't want to live my life with the mentality of the non-cancer participants: "I can't wait to get through this day" or "How much will I get (or where's my reward?)" I want to make a difference.....wherever God wants me to make it.
Second, I was reminded that unexpected nuggets of truth and discovery are wrapped up in our experiences. I miss them altogether when life becomes one 'to do' list after another. As a mom, balancing the 'to do' with 'the moment' requires energy and a willing spirit. For example, everyday I have a plan, or at least some semblance of a plan. That plan usually involves going somewhere, or not.....doing something, or not.....seeing someone, or not. It quite often involves my 4 children.....my 4 very active boy-children....my 4 very active boy-children who rarely understand how important it is to me that the plan run smoothly. Sure, we can get from point A to point B.....but, unfortunately, HOW we get there can sometimes make or break this mom's day.
Case in point: Vacation Bible School. It would be nice to take the kids to VBS and have them all: 1) Walk to their classes, 2) Speak respectfully to their teachers, 3) Listen and not interrupt the lessons, and 4) Walk with me to the car when VBS is over. These are ALL good plans and ALL good expectations. But guess what? They are children. They get excited. They get distracted. They get hungry. They get overstimulated. And sometimes......when you least expect it....when you've almost reached point B...... a frog hops haphazardly along the sidewalk as you're leaving the building. What does a boy do when he sees a frog hopping along.....imagine 4 boys doing that!!!! (Well, it happened to me....with 2 extra boys in tow!!!)
Okay...I had a point.....hmmmm......I lost my point......Where was I headed with that?.....Just a minute........oh, there it is....................
There are wonderful nuggets of truth and discovery just waiting to be found...IF we'll just take a moment, in our attempt to complete our 'to-do's', to notice. These nuggets aren't accidents. They aren't coincidences or random happenings. They have purpose, just as we have purpose. Though we may never understand their purpose, the significance of their presence in our lives is not diminished.
I believe God really wanted me 'to get' this point about experiencing the unexpected....about taking my 'horse blinders' off from time to time.....about experiencing the moment and waiting on the 'to-do's.' My lesson was wrapped up in form of a frolicsome amphibian! Do you remember that frog at VBS? Well, I wished it had never hopped along our path. My plan involved getting home ASAP and that was what was going to happen!!! So I did NOT let the boys play with it. It worked....although it wasn't very pretty. There was some frustration ....some yelling.... some anxiety...... some cajoling and corralling. When we got home, the boys were playing outside for about 20 minutes when all of a sudden one of them says, "Hey! There's a frog! Look! There's a FROG!!" Screams, giggles, scurrying and frantic hopping ensued. In the eight years that we've lived in this neighborhood, we've seen only 2 or 3 frogs. So, finding a frog is rare! Coincidence? No way! Divine intervention to drive home a point? I think so!
God, as I fight this mental and physical fatigue, may I not be discouraged with the unfamiliar pace with which I trudge forward. Grant me a willing spirit to sustain me. Lord, thank you for reminding me to stay motivated. Help me to find and to do things that please you and bring you glory. May I make a difference today. And Lord, I just wanted to thank you for the frogs. That was a great way to get my attention and a wonderful lesson to share with my sons. May we be ready for whatever you would have us to do. May we take time for the unplanned nuggets of truth and discovery that you bring across our path......even the green ones that hop!
*********
In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9
Monday, June 9, 2008
FATIGUE
In the last few months, I read somewhere, in some article, at some doctor's office that fatigue affects 80% of cancer patients. At the time I thought, "Well, I seem to be doing pretty well so far. Sure, I've had side effects from chemo.....but I just might 'kick' this fatigue thing."
HA!! Wishful thinking.
Fatigue is here. It teeter-totters from one spectrum to the other. From low to high. But I just can't seem to 'kick' it. Here is what the American Heritage Dictionary, along with some of my personal modifications, has to say about fatigue:
1) Something, such as tiring effort or activity (like cancer treatment), that causes weariness.
2) The decreased capacity or complete inability of an organism (that would be me!) to function normally because of excessive stimulation (like 4 surgeries, multiple infusions, various pokes and unexpected prods) or prolonged exertion (a.k.a. everyday stuff).
3) The weakening of a material, such as metal or wood (I would add blood, bones, muscles, and brain matter), resulting from prolonged stress.
Here's another way to define fatigue:
F ailure of Gumption
A pathy for the Everyday
T ired, but not Sleepy
I nability to Manage the Ordinary
G et up and Go has Got up and Went
U nable to Focus
E xhausted
Despite this weariness and by the grace of God, I get up everyday (although not always at the recommended time). One foot finds its way in front of the other. Smiles pop on my face and tiny miracles are experienced when least expected. I can not say it enough. God is faithful--morning by morning!!
This fatigue shall pass! Continue to give me your strength, Lord, in the midst of it. Strength of body, mind and spirit.
********
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary
they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31
HA!! Wishful thinking.
Fatigue is here. It teeter-totters from one spectrum to the other. From low to high. But I just can't seem to 'kick' it. Here is what the American Heritage Dictionary, along with some of my personal modifications, has to say about fatigue:
1) Something, such as tiring effort or activity (like cancer treatment), that causes weariness.
2) The decreased capacity or complete inability of an organism (that would be me!) to function normally because of excessive stimulation (like 4 surgeries, multiple infusions, various pokes and unexpected prods) or prolonged exertion (a.k.a. everyday stuff).
3) The weakening of a material, such as metal or wood (I would add blood, bones, muscles, and brain matter), resulting from prolonged stress.
Here's another way to define fatigue:
F ailure of Gumption
A pathy for the Everyday
T ired, but not Sleepy
I nability to Manage the Ordinary
G et up and Go has Got up and Went
U nable to Focus
E xhausted
Despite this weariness and by the grace of God, I get up everyday (although not always at the recommended time). One foot finds its way in front of the other. Smiles pop on my face and tiny miracles are experienced when least expected. I can not say it enough. God is faithful--morning by morning!!
This fatigue shall pass! Continue to give me your strength, Lord, in the midst of it. Strength of body, mind and spirit.
********
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary
they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31
Friday, June 6, 2008
The Lord's Great Love
Today was my first 'work-up' in preparation for radiation. I was pleased with the tenderness of the staff. So, I have much for which to be thankful..... considering in a couple of weeks they will be a part of my daily life for 5-6 weeks.
Above the treatment table was a beautiful painting of a sunrise. As I lay there (lie there?? Which is it?? I could never get that right in school!!!), I was able to refocus my attention from my temporal circumstances to more eternal things. Rather than use my own words, I will borrow some from Ethan the Ezrahite in Psalm 89, verses 1-2, 5-8:
I will sing of the Lord's great love forever,
with my mouth I will make your faithfulness
known through all generations.
I will declare that your love stands firm forever,
that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself.
The heavens praise your wonders, O Lord,
your faithfulness too, in the assembly of the holy ones.
For who in the skies above can compare with the Lord?
Who is like the Lord among the heavenly beings?
In the council of the holy ones God is greatly feared;
he is more awesome than all who surround him.
O Lord God almighty, who is like you?
You are mighty, O Lord, and your faithfulness
surrounds you.
God is faithful. God is mighty. God's love stands firm forever. There is nothing we can do to make Him love us more. There is nothing we can do to make Him love us less. God's love stands firm FOREVER.
Above the treatment table was a beautiful painting of a sunrise. As I lay there (lie there?? Which is it?? I could never get that right in school!!!), I was able to refocus my attention from my temporal circumstances to more eternal things. Rather than use my own words, I will borrow some from Ethan the Ezrahite in Psalm 89, verses 1-2, 5-8:
I will sing of the Lord's great love forever,
with my mouth I will make your faithfulness
known through all generations.
I will declare that your love stands firm forever,
that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself.
The heavens praise your wonders, O Lord,
your faithfulness too, in the assembly of the holy ones.
For who in the skies above can compare with the Lord?
Who is like the Lord among the heavenly beings?
In the council of the holy ones God is greatly feared;
he is more awesome than all who surround him.
O Lord God almighty, who is like you?
You are mighty, O Lord, and your faithfulness
surrounds you.
God is faithful. God is mighty. God's love stands firm forever. There is nothing we can do to make Him love us more. There is nothing we can do to make Him love us less. God's love stands firm FOREVER.
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