Mid-Flex........Tippets.....
Clinch Knot.....Dry and Wet Flies.....Caddis......
These words, and many more, were added to my vocabulary over the past weekend in which I attended a retreat for women who have or have had breast cancer. This was no ordinary weekend.
Fourteen women from all walks of life across the state of Indiana were "randomly" selected from a pool of applicants. And I was one of them!
Though it is true that our applications were randomly chosen by human hands, I believe that this particular weekend was meant for each one of us. I could provide a list of examples that, to me, confirm that God's hand was in this orchestrating every detail; but for the sake of confidentiality, that will have to stay out of this blog entry. From attendees to program coordinators and from medical professionals to fly-fishing and river helpers, this weekend was truly exceptional.
Yes, I said FLY FISHING.
This weekend used the beautiful art and rhythm of fly fishing, combined with counseling and medical expertise, to bring each participant one step further in her road to recovery. It was truly a tapestry of grace, love, compassion, respite, and healing.
There are a few moments in life when you can walk away from something and know that the hands and feet that served you faithfully and lovingly were extensions of your Lord. That is what this weekend felt like to me.
A huge thank you goes out to the hundreds of volunteers who make this retreat possible. An even bigger one goes out to the women and men who made this specific weekend possible. Thank you so much!
Now that I'm home I see that there are a few more words in my vocabulary whose depth of meaning were expanded because of Casting for Recovery. Words like......
Compassion......Love......Servant's Heart.
Guidance........Graciousness.......Friendship.
********
Casting for Recovery was founded in 1996 by a professional fly fisher and a reconstructive surgeon. To find out more, or to tell a breast cancer survivor about this retreat, check out their website by clicking here.
********
I lift up my eyes to the hills--where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-2
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
School Begins
One of my blogger and homeschool friends came up with a great way to start off her school year. Seeing that I was lacking a great way to start mine, I borrowed some of her ideas
Tomorrow, our oldest heads off for public school for the first time. We are very excited for him. So today, we officially kicked off our school year, for homeschool and public school, together.
We started with the borrowed idea of having a time capsule. So, as the boys sat at our round table for nearly two hours, they filled out four blank pages with the following information:
What are three things you are good at?
A self-portrait.
What do you dream about doing?
What will you do this year to improve in one area?
The answers were varied in thoughtfulness and creativity. Some were completed with words and some with pictures. You just never know what you're going to get with an assignment like this. I decided not to interfere with their creative processes and was pleasantly surprised by most of their ideas (and as you will see, a little concerned about a few!) So, in random order (to keep their anonymity) here are the answers I got to the above questions:
What are three things you are good at? Soccer, climbing, thinking up ideas, art, reading, math, sports, camping.
A self-portrait. Oh, I wish I could show you these. The boys had so much fun and really worked hard on them.
What do you dream about doing? Designing things for the Army, Becoming a Regional Service Manager, Being a Wizard (What?), Making Shoes, and Racing Cars.
What will you do this year to improve in one area? read more (YAY, he thought this up on his own!!), riting (boy, did he hit the nail on the head with that one!), brotherly love (Thank you, Jesus!), laying on the floor to do my math (hmm, maybe that will make all the difference! Pun intended.)
After completing all the answers, we rolled up the papers and stuck them in our "time capsule"--a modified cardboard Sensodyne toothpaste box--to be opened on our last day of school.
Oh, yes, and during this process two of my boys decided to change their names. Brenner would like to be called by his middle name, Isaiah. Parker would like to be called Bubba--which is the name of a friend I had in high school. (After my high school reunion last year, the boys asked me lots of questions about who I saw. I mentioned seeing Bubba--who no longer goes by that name, but it's hard to think of him as anything else. Well, apparently the boys loved the name and have debated for awhile as to who among them should be called Bubba. I guess Parker won). We'll see how long that lasts.
We wrapped up our morning by brainstorming ideas for our daily schedule, our classroom rules, our chore rotation, quick lunch/snack ideas, and field trips. During the field trip discussion, ideas like "a trip to Disney World, to the Grand Canyon, and to Kansas to see their cousins," kept coming up. I had to remind them that a field trip is a day trip, not a destination vacation.
May God's hand continue to be upon us this school year. Teaching us, prodding us, growing us, speaking to us, and showing us how to live this life for Him!
Tomorrow, our oldest heads off for public school for the first time. We are very excited for him. So today, we officially kicked off our school year, for homeschool and public school, together.
We started with the borrowed idea of having a time capsule. So, as the boys sat at our round table for nearly two hours, they filled out four blank pages with the following information:
What are three things you are good at?
A self-portrait.
What do you dream about doing?
What will you do this year to improve in one area?
The answers were varied in thoughtfulness and creativity. Some were completed with words and some with pictures. You just never know what you're going to get with an assignment like this. I decided not to interfere with their creative processes and was pleasantly surprised by most of their ideas (and as you will see, a little concerned about a few!) So, in random order (to keep their anonymity) here are the answers I got to the above questions:
What are three things you are good at? Soccer, climbing, thinking up ideas, art, reading, math, sports, camping.
A self-portrait. Oh, I wish I could show you these. The boys had so much fun and really worked hard on them.
What do you dream about doing? Designing things for the Army, Becoming a Regional Service Manager, Being a Wizard (What?), Making Shoes, and Racing Cars.
What will you do this year to improve in one area? read more (YAY, he thought this up on his own!!), riting (boy, did he hit the nail on the head with that one!), brotherly love (Thank you, Jesus!), laying on the floor to do my math (hmm, maybe that will make all the difference! Pun intended.)
After completing all the answers, we rolled up the papers and stuck them in our "time capsule"--a modified cardboard Sensodyne toothpaste box--to be opened on our last day of school.
Oh, yes, and during this process two of my boys decided to change their names. Brenner would like to be called by his middle name, Isaiah. Parker would like to be called Bubba--which is the name of a friend I had in high school. (After my high school reunion last year, the boys asked me lots of questions about who I saw. I mentioned seeing Bubba--who no longer goes by that name, but it's hard to think of him as anything else. Well, apparently the boys loved the name and have debated for awhile as to who among them should be called Bubba. I guess Parker won). We'll see how long that lasts.
We wrapped up our morning by brainstorming ideas for our daily schedule, our classroom rules, our chore rotation, quick lunch/snack ideas, and field trips. During the field trip discussion, ideas like "a trip to Disney World, to the Grand Canyon, and to Kansas to see their cousins," kept coming up. I had to remind them that a field trip is a day trip, not a destination vacation.
May God's hand continue to be upon us this school year. Teaching us, prodding us, growing us, speaking to us, and showing us how to live this life for Him!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Parents Encouraging Parents
It was through this blog that I discovered my love of writing. The jumbled thoughts inside my head line up and make more sense when I put them down. Though I don't blog as much as I used to, it's still therapeutic for me.
This summer a friend from church asked if I would consider writing some articles for the "Parents Encouraging Parents" section of her website, WeGrowMinistries.com. http://wegrowministries.com/
I decided to give it a try. Why not? So, let me know what you think. And if you have a moment, check out my friend's website.
Here is my first one:
When Rhonda Haslett, creator of WeGrowMinistries.com, asked if I would consider writing some articles in the "Parents Encouraging Parents" section of her ministry website, I was initially very honored and excited. Then, on my way home from church, panic set in.
"Who am I to encourage other parents? What could I say that would be helpful, or inspirational or encouraging, for that matter? I'm probably not a good example to follow, anyway? What's the use?"
Before the car turned into our neighborhood, I had dashed any hopes of producing one shred of encouragement...ever. The other five passengers in the car, which included my husband and four sons, were oblivious to the battle that had engulfed my mind during that twenty minute ride home from church. I consciously noted each bad choice I made throughout the rest of the day...which added to the reasons why I COULD NOT write encouraging articles to other parents. In fact, by the end of the day, it was official. I was the worst parent that had ever walked on this earth.
As a parent, can you relate to the battle that can take place within your soul? Do you desire to be Christ-like and to demonstrate the love of God to your children, yet feel like maybe God made a mistake when He choose you for this awesome role of parenting?
Did I handle that discipline issue the right way?
Have I failed in training my child to be a good steward...to be responsible...to show respect....to be kind...to know and to love God?
Why do I always have to tell him the same thing over and over and over and over and over again?
I promised myself I wouldn't react with anger today, and yet I just yelled at my child before I even got out of bed!
Can I just buy a T-shirt for the boy that reads, "Really, my parents are trying, but I have a free will AND I'm willing to use it!"
Argh! Parenthood has its challenges.
Honestly, I've wondered often in the last month if Rhonda picked the wrong mom. The idea of encouraging other parents may be difficult, especially when there are many days in a week when I'm the one who needs the encouragement. I mess up everyday as a parent. Every single day.
I suppose that is the beauty of "Parents Encouraging Parents." We are regular, ordinary parents just like you. We have not perfected parenthood, but we are willing to be transparent in both our failures and our successes. We are willing to learn and to grow and to apply God's Word to our lives. As we share what God is teaching us, we pray that you are encouraged along the way.
May each of us grow to become parents after God's own heart!
*************
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work {including parenthood}. 2 Timothy 3:16
This summer a friend from church asked if I would consider writing some articles for the "Parents Encouraging Parents" section of her website, WeGrowMinistries.com. http://wegrowministries.com/
I decided to give it a try. Why not? So, let me know what you think. And if you have a moment, check out my friend's website.
Here is my first one:
When Rhonda Haslett, creator of WeGrowMinistries.com, asked if I would consider writing some articles in the "Parents Encouraging Parents" section of her ministry website, I was initially very honored and excited. Then, on my way home from church, panic set in.
"Who am I to encourage other parents? What could I say that would be helpful, or inspirational or encouraging, for that matter? I'm probably not a good example to follow, anyway? What's the use?"
Before the car turned into our neighborhood, I had dashed any hopes of producing one shred of encouragement...ever. The other five passengers in the car, which included my husband and four sons, were oblivious to the battle that had engulfed my mind during that twenty minute ride home from church. I consciously noted each bad choice I made throughout the rest of the day...which added to the reasons why I COULD NOT write encouraging articles to other parents. In fact, by the end of the day, it was official. I was the worst parent that had ever walked on this earth.
As a parent, can you relate to the battle that can take place within your soul? Do you desire to be Christ-like and to demonstrate the love of God to your children, yet feel like maybe God made a mistake when He choose you for this awesome role of parenting?
Did I handle that discipline issue the right way?
Have I failed in training my child to be a good steward...to be responsible...to show respect....to be kind...to know and to love God?
Why do I always have to tell him the same thing over and over and over and over and over again?
I promised myself I wouldn't react with anger today, and yet I just yelled at my child before I even got out of bed!
Can I just buy a T-shirt for the boy that reads, "Really, my parents are trying, but I have a free will AND I'm willing to use it!"
Argh! Parenthood has its challenges.
Honestly, I've wondered often in the last month if Rhonda picked the wrong mom. The idea of encouraging other parents may be difficult, especially when there are many days in a week when I'm the one who needs the encouragement. I mess up everyday as a parent. Every single day.
I suppose that is the beauty of "Parents Encouraging Parents." We are regular, ordinary parents just like you. We have not perfected parenthood, but we are willing to be transparent in both our failures and our successes. We are willing to learn and to grow and to apply God's Word to our lives. As we share what God is teaching us, we pray that you are encouraged along the way.
May each of us grow to become parents after God's own heart!
*************
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work {including parenthood}. 2 Timothy 3:16
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
The Music Man
This summer has been super busy for my youngest two boys. In May they auditioned for Hendricks Civic Theatre's production of "The Music Man" and were asked to join the cast.
Initially practices were about three times a week for 2 to 3 hours at a time. But with the first performance coming up this Friday night, everyone has had to be there almost every night for the past two weeks. Now we're there for 4 hours at a stretch!! Four hours!!
There was a point about three weeks ago where I'd hear the boys say, "We have to go to practice again." But now that we are in Tech Week, which is the week that everything starts coming together with costumes, set, orchestra, and props, the boys are excited to be there--for four hours at a stretch....without any snacks! Whew!
"The Music Man" will be a two-hour performance, including an intermission. There are around 60 people in the cast. The boys are seeing first hand all of the work that goes into making the show a success.
Last night they came out in their costumes wearing derby hats, knickerbockers, long sleeve, buttoned-down shirts, suspenders, long socks and dark shoes. They were so adorable!!
If you're in the area and would care to enjoy some family entertainment, consider coming to see "The Music Man." Yes, I know, a shameless plug! The cost is $12/adults and $8/seniors and children. You can purchase tickets at the door. The performances are at Plainfield High School, starting at 8:00 p.m. on Friday and Saturday, and 2:30 p.m. on Sunday. The show is this weekend and next weekend.
If not for any other reason, you should come just to see two of the cutest River City Kids you've ever seen!!!
Initially practices were about three times a week for 2 to 3 hours at a time. But with the first performance coming up this Friday night, everyone has had to be there almost every night for the past two weeks. Now we're there for 4 hours at a stretch!! Four hours!!
There was a point about three weeks ago where I'd hear the boys say, "We have to go to practice again." But now that we are in Tech Week, which is the week that everything starts coming together with costumes, set, orchestra, and props, the boys are excited to be there--for four hours at a stretch....without any snacks! Whew!
"The Music Man" will be a two-hour performance, including an intermission. There are around 60 people in the cast. The boys are seeing first hand all of the work that goes into making the show a success.
Last night they came out in their costumes wearing derby hats, knickerbockers, long sleeve, buttoned-down shirts, suspenders, long socks and dark shoes. They were so adorable!!
If you're in the area and would care to enjoy some family entertainment, consider coming to see "The Music Man." Yes, I know, a shameless plug! The cost is $12/adults and $8/seniors and children. You can purchase tickets at the door. The performances are at Plainfield High School, starting at 8:00 p.m. on Friday and Saturday, and 2:30 p.m. on Sunday. The show is this weekend and next weekend.
If not for any other reason, you should come just to see two of the cutest River City Kids you've ever seen!!!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
For Mrs. H
A dear friend sends me emails from time to time, encouraging me to write new posts on my blog when it's been dormant for awhile. So, this one is for you, Mr. H.....and for Mrs. H, your wife of noble character who is worth far more than rubies. (Proverbs 31:10)
I recently picked up a trilogy that I had read in college. It is about God's unrelenting pursuit after the heart of man. As the trilogy unfolds, the reader begins to grasp the power in the threefold nature of God's forgiveness. For we are called to forgive others, we are called to forgive ourselves, and we are called to receive God's forgiveness. It is through this forgiveness that we allow God's healing to wash over us. (I'm referring to the healing of our spirit man).
The authors weave a tapestry of scripture and faith throughout the pages to remind the readers that "God's way is often beyond man's understanding" and "God's plan for reconciliation is never exhausted." The depth and richness of the story meant so much to me over twenty years ago when I first read it, that I've never been able to part with it.
In the introduction of the last book are these words:
"Life is not lived without heartbreak, loss and tragedy; such is the human condition. As Job said, 'Man is born to trouble.'
But a person's moments on earth are merely a flicker. The joys and miseries of circumstances ultimately fade into nothingness, and all that remains is the character one carries from this life into the next. The physical world provides the training ground for the deeper life as we learn to respond to the God who made us. Temporal loss can be the price of timeless gain."
Having battled through two of the toughest years of my life.....Seeing loved ones struggle through some difficult situations.....Realizing that no one is immune to the heartbreak, loss and tragedy of life....The above words in italics bring me comfort....on so very many levels.
May each of us learn to respond more intimately to the God who made us. May we set our minds on things above.
****************
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14
I recently picked up a trilogy that I had read in college. It is about God's unrelenting pursuit after the heart of man. As the trilogy unfolds, the reader begins to grasp the power in the threefold nature of God's forgiveness. For we are called to forgive others, we are called to forgive ourselves, and we are called to receive God's forgiveness. It is through this forgiveness that we allow God's healing to wash over us. (I'm referring to the healing of our spirit man).
The authors weave a tapestry of scripture and faith throughout the pages to remind the readers that "God's way is often beyond man's understanding" and "God's plan for reconciliation is never exhausted." The depth and richness of the story meant so much to me over twenty years ago when I first read it, that I've never been able to part with it.
In the introduction of the last book are these words:
"Life is not lived without heartbreak, loss and tragedy; such is the human condition. As Job said, 'Man is born to trouble.'
But a person's moments on earth are merely a flicker. The joys and miseries of circumstances ultimately fade into nothingness, and all that remains is the character one carries from this life into the next. The physical world provides the training ground for the deeper life as we learn to respond to the God who made us. Temporal loss can be the price of timeless gain."
Having battled through two of the toughest years of my life.....Seeing loved ones struggle through some difficult situations.....Realizing that no one is immune to the heartbreak, loss and tragedy of life....The above words in italics bring me comfort....on so very many levels.
May each of us learn to respond more intimately to the God who made us. May we set our minds on things above.
****************
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Disappointed, yet Thankful
"God has unstrung my bow and afflicted me." This phrase from Job 30:11 smacked me in the face this week. That is exactly how I felt.
Torn apart. Without purpose. Disfigured once again.
I underwent my DIEP flap bilateral breast reconstruction last Thursday. It started and ended badly. Without sharing the details, the main result is that my body failed to provide my surgeon with the vessels needed to complete a successful transfer of my flaps. So, I awoke from my 9 hour surgery without breasts, with multiple incisions and several drains on my trunk, and subsequently, in a lot of pain. Imprisoned upon my hospital bed for the remainder of the evening, I was at the mercy of a small button that would hopefully summon my nursing angels through the night.
Certainly, during our struggles, there are times when God's presence seems so far away......................"But if I go to the east, he is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find him. When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him." Job 23:8,9.
And yet, He is there................................."But he knows the way that I take...." Job 23:10a.
Most of my days since surgery have been a blur. But one constant, even in the midst of my grumbling and sorrow, has been the ministering ways of God's Holy Spirit........................."Your hands shaped me and made me. Will you now turn and destroy me?...You gave me life and showed me kindness, and in your providence watched over my spirit." Job 10:8,12.
Does God cause all the bad in our life? No, but He allows it. In a fallen world, we are faced with trials and tribulation. We are not exempt. Yet, we have His son sitting at his right hand, interceding for us. His Holy Spirit comforting us............................"Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high. My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend." Job 16:19-21.
No, I do not have breasts. Can I be thankful for that?...................."Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.
That's a tough one.
But, yes, I can be thankful in this circumstance, for God has given me a beautiful tummy tuck!!!!
****
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:6-9.
Torn apart. Without purpose. Disfigured once again.
I underwent my DIEP flap bilateral breast reconstruction last Thursday. It started and ended badly. Without sharing the details, the main result is that my body failed to provide my surgeon with the vessels needed to complete a successful transfer of my flaps. So, I awoke from my 9 hour surgery without breasts, with multiple incisions and several drains on my trunk, and subsequently, in a lot of pain. Imprisoned upon my hospital bed for the remainder of the evening, I was at the mercy of a small button that would hopefully summon my nursing angels through the night.
Certainly, during our struggles, there are times when God's presence seems so far away......................"But if I go to the east, he is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find him. When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him." Job 23:8,9.
And yet, He is there................................."But he knows the way that I take...." Job 23:10a.
Most of my days since surgery have been a blur. But one constant, even in the midst of my grumbling and sorrow, has been the ministering ways of God's Holy Spirit........................."Your hands shaped me and made me. Will you now turn and destroy me?...You gave me life and showed me kindness, and in your providence watched over my spirit." Job 10:8,12.
Does God cause all the bad in our life? No, but He allows it. In a fallen world, we are faced with trials and tribulation. We are not exempt. Yet, we have His son sitting at his right hand, interceding for us. His Holy Spirit comforting us............................"Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high. My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend." Job 16:19-21.
No, I do not have breasts. Can I be thankful for that?...................."Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.
That's a tough one.
But, yes, I can be thankful in this circumstance, for God has given me a beautiful tummy tuck!!!!
****
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:6-9.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Walk a Mile
I've been thinking on that phrase lately......"If you could walk a mile in someone's shoes...."
Sometimes we see what others are doing around us and we make judgements about their decisions.....good or bad....especially if we have a strong opinion one way and the decision went the other way. I know I'm guilty of it.
I've been thinking on that phrase because we've had a couple of big decisions before us. Decisions that others will have a strong opinion on either way we go. Part of my nature, asks.....What will people think of us.....of our choices? Some may applaud. Some may shake their heads. Some may openly speak their dissatisfaction. Others may encourage. Some may say nothing. So, I suppose I've quietly been preparing myself for all that may come.
The first decision is about homeschooling. Sean and I knew without a doubt that God called us to homeschool each of our boys as they became of schooling age. We were scared about the idea, but pursued it nevertheless; because when God says, "Follow me in this!" you know He's 'got your back.'
So each new school year we've prayerfully considered what the next year will be. So far, we have continued with homeschooling because that is where we felt God led us.
There may be some changes for this upcoming year. Though a final decision has not been made, we are looking into our options for our oldest son who will be entering 7th grade next year. This is the first year where we have felt peace in heading toward the public school system. We are aware of the pro's and con's of both sides. We want our decision to be God-lead and not fear-lead. So we continue to pursue our options. And we pray that God will direct us and the path for Spencer.
The second decision is about reconstruction surgery. I decided last fall that I was ready to pursue reconstruction after my bilateral mastectomies. I had thought that I'd be okay to stay this way forever. A small part of me wonders, "Is it vanity edging its way into my thoughts when I consider this option?"
Is it? Is it vanity? I don't know. Maybe a little. Mostly, I consider it restoration. God has done an incredible work in my life through my breast cancer journey. He has restored unto me the joy of His salvation. I'm thankful He has raised a generation of doctors who can restore the body, too.
But I'd never ask you to walk a mile in my shoes to figure it out. Just pray for me, for my doctors, my nurses, my husband and my children, and my family as we move forward in a few weeks with my surgery.
*********
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore unto me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Psalm 51:10-12
Sometimes we see what others are doing around us and we make judgements about their decisions.....good or bad....especially if we have a strong opinion one way and the decision went the other way. I know I'm guilty of it.
I've been thinking on that phrase because we've had a couple of big decisions before us. Decisions that others will have a strong opinion on either way we go. Part of my nature, asks.....What will people think of us.....of our choices? Some may applaud. Some may shake their heads. Some may openly speak their dissatisfaction. Others may encourage. Some may say nothing. So, I suppose I've quietly been preparing myself for all that may come.
The first decision is about homeschooling. Sean and I knew without a doubt that God called us to homeschool each of our boys as they became of schooling age. We were scared about the idea, but pursued it nevertheless; because when God says, "Follow me in this!" you know He's 'got your back.'
So each new school year we've prayerfully considered what the next year will be. So far, we have continued with homeschooling because that is where we felt God led us.
There may be some changes for this upcoming year. Though a final decision has not been made, we are looking into our options for our oldest son who will be entering 7th grade next year. This is the first year where we have felt peace in heading toward the public school system. We are aware of the pro's and con's of both sides. We want our decision to be God-lead and not fear-lead. So we continue to pursue our options. And we pray that God will direct us and the path for Spencer.
The second decision is about reconstruction surgery. I decided last fall that I was ready to pursue reconstruction after my bilateral mastectomies. I had thought that I'd be okay to stay this way forever. A small part of me wonders, "Is it vanity edging its way into my thoughts when I consider this option?"
Is it? Is it vanity? I don't know. Maybe a little. Mostly, I consider it restoration. God has done an incredible work in my life through my breast cancer journey. He has restored unto me the joy of His salvation. I'm thankful He has raised a generation of doctors who can restore the body, too.
But I'd never ask you to walk a mile in my shoes to figure it out. Just pray for me, for my doctors, my nurses, my husband and my children, and my family as we move forward in a few weeks with my surgery.
*********
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore unto me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Psalm 51:10-12
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