Look Good.....Feel Good

Being the youngest of four girls, I grew up with the notion that I would be the 'boy' my daddy never had. Not that I wanted to be a boy, mind you, but I was naturally drawn to more 'boy' things. I loved to play football and dig for potato bugs (also known as rollypollys) with my buddy, Bradley, who lived down the street. As I grew, sports were a great fit for me. I have many wonderful memories playing summer softball with my dad as my coach. (Around junior high age, I really wanted to be a cheerleader like my sister, Angie.....but unfortunately I didn't have the 'spring' necessary to make my jumps look graceful or pretty! So I continued with my sports.)

The point I'm trying to make: I never really paid attention to the things that my sisters were doing.....putting on make-up, styling hair, dressing fashionably. For me, getting 'beautified' was something you did on Sunday mornings or special occasions. It felt more like a chore....almost as bad as cleaning the toilets!! Not much has changed for me over the years. I 'put on my face' for Sunday mornings and special occasions, but on any other day I put aside the 'chore' of applying make-up, or I just put on the bare minimum. Truly, I wish I could enjoy the process a bit more, especially as I get older and see my face slowly succomb to aging.

This past Monday, I had the unique opportunity to 'get educated' on the finer things of make-up application through a class sponsored by the American Cancer Society (ACS), called "Look Good....Feel Good." It provides instruction for women undergoing treatment for cancer: how to take care of your hair, your skin and your nails AND how to apply make-up. (I was a little embarrassed that I was the only one asking LOTS of questions during the make-up application portion!!!). I came home with a bag FULL of FREE make-up products. So, you might be surprised the next time you see me....that is if you can recognize me under all of those products! I'd still prefer throwing the football and digging up bugs, but I suppose it doesn't hurt to 'Look Good' while I do it!

In general, though, the things that make me 'feel good' have little to do with 'looking good.' (I say, 'in general,' because I'm fully aware of the temporary sense of well being that comes from being dressed nicely and groomed well, and thereby 'looking good.') For instance, when I clean my house I get more satisfaction from cleaned closets and cabinets, than I do from clean carpets, floors and counters. I'm not sure why that is. It's not like anyone's going to see my clean closets or cabinets. But I do see this thinking reflected in how I view my life. I feel much better about myself when I can bring ALL of my emotional stuff out in the light of God. You know, that stuff that can get stuffed in the 'closets and cabinets' of our souls; stuff that seems easier to ignore and hide than to expose and clean up; stuff like unforgiveness, fear, bitterness, anger, guilt, sin.

I'm still in process. There are many areas in my life that I need to have 'exposed.' When I get real with God, allowing myself to be vulnerable and transparent before the Lord.... willing to open up the 'cabinets and closets' that contain my fears, my sins, my guilt, my shame.....THAT is when I am truly free. That is when 'feeling good' is real and eternal.....not just a temporal covering over. The enemy would love for me to continue to conceal and to cover myself, just as Adam and Eve did in the Garden of Eden after they sinned. But God says to me...he says to you..."I've got you covered. There is no shame, there is no fear, when you walk with Me."

I am grateful for the wonderful gift the ACS provided me and the other precious ladies who attended the class. I appreciate the temporal sense of feeling good in the midst of all the side effects with which I am daily confronted. Yet, I am even more grateful for the precious gift that God has given me. The gift of faith, of hope, and of love. The gift of freedom. THESE are the gifts which truly make me 'feel good.'

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Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. Psalm 42:5

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. Psalm 62:5

Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul; if you find it, there is a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off. Proverbs 24:14

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And the now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. I Corinthians 13:12-13