A Poor Reflection

All went well in my surgery on Tuesday. Thank you to so many who prayed for me. It took about 5 hours from beginning to end, and both doctors reported that all went well in their procedures. I ended up staying two nights in the hospital. Now, I'm home recuperating.

I could say that this week was a piece of cake, a laugh a minute, and walk in the park. Ha! Well, I did have a piece of cake.....no, it was pie. Peanut butter creme pie...mmmmm. I probably did laugh for a whole minute.....if you add them all up for the week. But I've cried way more than I've laughed. I did walk down my road today. With all the trees in green it felt like I was in a park.....with a very wide sidewalk....only I didn't get very far and had to come back home to rest. Okay....forget all that. This week was definitely not paradise.

But I am here! I am loved! I am thankful! I still sing praises to my Creator! Listen to these words from Paul:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.....For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

These words from Corinthians 13:4-8,9-13 have been on my mind today. Love. Imperfection. Reflection. Hope. Faith. The first time I looked at the reflection of my 'new' self in the mirror, I cried. I did. I saw physical imperfection at its greatest. This is not how God created me. This is not how he knit me together in my mother's womb. This bald headed, bare-browed, breastless being that was looking back at me....who was she?

And yet, He knew. He knew this day would come. He prepared me for this moment. I'm not sure how. I'm not even sure when. But somehow. In some way. He prepared me. And the reflection that He sees of me is not what I see. He sees my broken heart and makes it new. He makes me whole. He has never left me. He restores me. He guides me. He loves me. He has surrounded me with family and friends who love me, too. Family and friends whom I love. People who can laugh with me, cry with me, hold me, and protect me. I could not walk this path alone, unloved, hopeless and faithless.

Here are just a few images of love that I glimpsed this week:

• Two doctors, each holding one of my hands, as I drifted off to 'surgical' sleep with tears dripping down my cheeks.
• A nurse who gave a gentle touch, a kind reassurance, a sweet smile.
• Fragrant, beautiful flowers and encouraging cards that fill my home with reminders of friends and family who care.
• A husband who helps me get dressed, who cares for my every need, who looks at me...all of me.....and tells me that he loves me.
• Family and friends who continue giving their time and love.

This love that Sean and I have been wrapped in this whole week is only part....only a small reflection of God's love. I treasure every single-itty-bitty-bit of it. Thank you so much for sharing God's love with us!!!