Someone Cares

A few deep thoughts keep running through my mind lately as I reflect on what I've been through and as I watch those around me struggling with their own trials in life. This entry is for anyone who finds themselves hurting. Maybe it's a physical hurt, but it can also be a hurt of an emotional or spiritual nature. I have been well cared for during this journey with breast cancer, but that doesn't mean that I've been exempt from the physical, emotional and spiritual hurting that comes from dealing with the disease. Particulary, I was thinking about how my journey with cancer began and how I wasn't sure what to do or say for those first few weeks before my 'official' diagnosis.

The day after I found my lump, we had our first cornhole party at our house. As is the nature of things here, it was a completely last minute, unplanned activity. In fact, Sean invited everyone over before he even had the set built. I remember getting home from work and thinking about the pain that persisted in my breast. I really wasn't sure what to do with it. Finding Sean at the borrowed sewing machine, stitching together his 6 inch by 6 inch red and blue bags was a good distraction for me. I took the empty bags to the front porch and started pouring 2 cups of corn into each one. As our friends arrived, we gave them needle and thread and had them hand stitch the bags closed. (Yeah, if you want to come to a party at our house....just know that you'll have to work!!) The night was loads of fun for everyone and a good distraction for me. Yet, I had this yearning inside to tell someone, to be comforted and prayed for.

I didn't mention anything to anyone that night about my lump. I was hoping it was nothing to be concerned about. (Hindsight is always 20/20!!) Even though there were some doubts in my mind, I didn't want to ruin a good party. Strange how we can believe a lie like that!

"No, Michelle, don't mention it to anyone. Keep it to yourself. Look how happy everyone is. No one wants to hear that you're worried about this lump. No one cares."

No one cares????..... That's exactly what Satan wants us to believe when we are hurting.

No one cares..... Is that true?

Two weekends later I had a Thanksgiving Celebration with my homeschool group on Friday night and a Junior Bible Quiz meet with some of my kids on Saturday. I'd had my mammogram, my ultrasound, and my core biopsy by then. All signs indicated cancer, but I had not received the official results. I was holding out hope that the radiologist's speculations were WRONG!! I went through the entire weekend with people all around me.....

And I didn't mentioning anything about my lump. I was hoping there was nothing to be concerned about (Can anyone say DENIAL???) Even though there were plenty of doubts in my mind, I didn't want to ruin a good celebration and day of quizzing. Strange how we can believe a lie like that?

"No, Michelle, don't mention it to anyone. Keep it to yourself. Look how busy everybody is. No one wants to hear that you're worried about this lump. No one cares."

No one cares???.......That's exactly what Satan wants us to believe when we are hurting.

No one cares....... Is that true?

It was the Monday before Thanksgiving when I found out officially that I had breast cancer. Seventeen days had passed by. Seventeen very agonizing days. My spirit and my mind were reeling as I contemplated all the 'what ifs' and the 'how comes.' Only a handful of my family and a couple of friends knew. Would things have been different had I been willing to seek help earlier? I don' t wonder if the outcome of the diagnosis would have been different. I wonder if my spirit and my mind would have had less turmoil in those early days had I sought prayer from the get-go. Because once I 'spilled the beans' a welcomed peace pervaded my soul. A peace that cannot be explained.

Are you hurting? Are you surrounded by people who could help you....people who could pray for you or cry with you.....people who could help lift a burden that you're carrying. Yet, all that you can think is that they're too busy.....or they're too happy.... or that no one cares. Or maybe you don't want to spoil a good time or ruin a good thing. Yet there you are.....still hurting. You have a smile on your face, but it's been disconnected from the pain that is in your heart. You're trying to move forward and pretend that everything is alright, but it's not.

Are you hurting? Reach out to someone. Someone does care.

********
All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." Humble ourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:5b-7

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you... Psalm 55:22a

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8